While Our home town is measuring snow in feet, temperatures are in the low 70's
today in Ft Lauderdale.
Our hotel in Boca Raton might have been the best.
Our first group of friends we were traveling with went to Cape Canaveral and
stayed in a creepy hotel out of a 60's horror movie, but they made the best of
it by watching Star Trek on their laptop. Our second group of friends stayed at
the Swan at Disney but arrived late and their reserved room was gone. They were
given a room that didn't fit their family. After settling in, the fire alarm
went off at midnight and they had to evacuate. The next morning they had to
fight for refunds at Swan and for a better room. Considering the experiences of
our travel mates, we did OK.
Yesterday we needed some groceries so I
pulled into a store named "The bazaar" near Boca Raton. We walked in and my
daughter immediately said "this place smells like a combination of **** and
cinnamon". It was some kind of ethnic store with raw meet laying out. It was
scary so we immediately left.
Today we toured the Ft Lauderdale area
before checking into the hotel - a large room with two bedrooms, living room,
and kitchen!
Ft Lauderdale is like on a different planet. It is so very
different from anything I am used to in the north. It is completely beach
focused - from people riding bicycles with surf boards strapped to their back,
expensive restaurants with patrons in their beach attire, yachts, ferrari's,
porches, and lines of beach front condos towering into the sky and stretching
down the beach mile after mile.
The plan for tomorrow is do do absolutely
nothing. It sounds like a perfect plan, what could go wrong?
Relocating To Disney
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Health Check In
A Disney Vacation can be physically challenging. The time invested in getting in shape will pay back with a great trip.
It is time for a health check in. To prepare for
the 2014 trip I wanted to drop some weight and be able to run 5 miles in under
an hour. I am 8 pounds below my goal weight. Weight loss has slowed to
about half a pound per week. I have also reached my running goal! Here is my
running log additions:
4/08 - 12.2mm / 2.45 miles / Treadmill
4/13 - 12.3mm / 2.43 miles / Treadmill
4/15 - 11.9mm / 2.52 miles / Treadmill
4/23 - 11.8mm / 2.95 miles / Treadmill
4/29 - 11.7mm / 3.01 miles / Treadmill
5/01 - 11.6mm / 3.01 miles / Treadmill
5/08 - 11.3mm / 3.46 miles / Treadmill
5/13 - 11.3mm / 3.52 miles / Treadmill
5/14 - 12.1mm / 4.05 miles / Outside
5/21 - 11.3mm / 5.28 miles / Outside
4/08 - 12.2mm / 2.45 miles / Treadmill
4/13 - 12.3mm / 2.43 miles / Treadmill
4/15 - 11.9mm / 2.52 miles / Treadmill
4/23 - 11.8mm / 2.95 miles / Treadmill
4/29 - 11.7mm / 3.01 miles / Treadmill
5/01 - 11.6mm / 3.01 miles / Treadmill
5/08 - 11.3mm / 3.46 miles / Treadmill
5/13 - 11.3mm / 3.52 miles / Treadmill
5/14 - 12.1mm / 4.05 miles / Outside
5/21 - 11.3mm / 5.28 miles / Outside
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
2013: Hollywood Studios
Disney's Hollywood Studios will forever be known as "MGM" to me, because, that
is how it was originally named. I'm not going to necessarily change my thinking
to match Disney marketing. It is MGM Studios.
Under a gray sky, we headed to MGM studios for the day. It was an odd kind of a day in that it would often rain, prompting us to dig the rain ponchos out of the backpacks. As soon as we put on the ponchos, it would stop raining. We would take the ponchos off, carefully fold and pack them away. And then it would rain again. We played this game all day - taking the ponchos out of the backpacks, and putting them back in. It was as if we were on a movie set and someone was playing a prank on us. After several hours of this game, we gave up. And decided to just get wet.
It is just as well that we stopped using the ponchos. People who know me know I like to pinch a penny. These rain ponchos are easily 13 years old and have never been cleaned. They get used once every couple of years, dried off, and then packed away. They smell. To say they were fowl would be an improvement to their actual smell. Removing them does not remove the smell from one's body. So, each time I must go to the restroom and wash my hands. Washing one's hands at Disney is impossible. Even though Florida is surrounded on three sides by water and dotted by hundreds of lakes, they must conserve water. When washing your hands, the automatic sinks disperse just one ounce of water in a spray. I know it is one ounce because I measured it in my water bottle. I can do a better job washing my hands by spitting on them. Which is what I often reverted to doing.
We devised a cleaver plan to avoid using ponchos every time it rained. When it rained, we would jump into the nearest store because all the stores on the street were interconnected. We would pass through from one store to the next until we reached the end of the street. Run across the street. Then into the next store.
The problem with this plan is that others would run to store too, take one step inside, and then stop - blocking the doorway from anyone else who would like to enter. They would gather their party together "It is really raining out there";. Well, no kidding! I'm still standing in it. Can you please move into the store? Others liked to stand in the doorway and watch people running up and down the street in the rain. I'm sure it was a great pastime activity, maybe they were watching for Brazilian blonds, I don't know, but please don't block the door while you are watching! There was one teen who was eating her ice cream in the middle of the door way. She was easily 1/3 my weight and I'm running through the rain charging right at her, thundering with each footfall. She didn't even flinch as I barreled past. Are you nuts? If I had hit her, I would have knocked her clear into the next store!
Lunch at the Scifi Drive in was perfect. Other than Mike dropping his toasted cheese on the floor and then trying to pick it up so he can eat it, and the outrageous price ($9 for onion rings?), we love the SciFi Drive in.
We went to the Indiana Jones Stunt Show. Unfortunately, it had been raining and the set was wet so they need an abbreviated show. To make it worse, the show had some bugs in it. No, I mean, really, there were bugs. Insects. I was watching the show when I noticed a lady near me squealing, jumping around, and smacking herself. I thought, perhaps, it was a medical condition. Until I saw the person next to her do the same thing. And very quickly, that entire section was on their feet, stomping their feet, squealing, and slapping themselves. I could see all these green beetles on the floor scurrying all around their bags and belongings. I became concerned... For myself. I picked up my bag and slid away from the group. They grabbed their belongings and ran out of the theater. I thought - geez, that was really gross! But I didn't bother to say anything when another couple saw the open seats and came to sit down in the bug infested row.
Just so you don't think I am a horrible person for not mentioning anything about the bugs, let me explain what Disney is like in July. At Disney, English speaking natives are a minority. I don't know why, but Spanish is the natural language in the land of Disney. Perhaps it is winter in South America so many visit Florida (we have seen huge tour groups from all around Latin America). Or perhaps the weak US dollar is encouraging travel. Whatever the case may be, chances are? If I said there were bugs on their bench, they wouldn't know what I was saying anyways. In this land of babble, it is easier (and more enjoyable) to just to sit back and watch the show of another group get attacked by green beetles. I have seen India Jones a hundred times (big secret - the guy who stands on one leg? Is the paid actor). But this is the first time I have seen The Attack Of The Green Beetles.
I suppose the beetles might be attacking as revenge for all the roaches we are killing back at the house. By the way, eleven dead insects versus 0 dead humans - we are winning! I read that there are more bugs in a square mile of dirt (not a cube, a square) than the entire population of humans. Each human would have to kill 100 million bugs for us to win the Star Troopers war! With this obvious problem, I don't understand why there is human starvation in the world.
We road on Star Tours. Or, as I call it, the vomit comet with pilot Lou-Up Chuck. The ride isn't as bad as it used to be. When it first opened, you were almost guaranteed someone was going to pass up their lunch on the ride. Usually that someone was me. They redesigned the ride and now it is much better. You have a one in four chance of seeing someone puke.
After a fun day in the park, we road the tram back to our car. We walked with a crowd from the tram to our cars. In the crowd was a man and woman in their late forties. The man suddenly stops, pauses, and rips the loudest sloppiest fart I have ever heard. And then his wife pauses and rips and even louder fart. That is love! A couple that farts together stays together. After the momentary pause, they continued to their car unaffected, while those of us down wind held our breaths until we were blue in the face.
It really isn't this couple's fault. I give them no bad will. The bathrooms are so bad at Disney, I too have considered crapping myself to avoid using them. The toilet paper is the worse in the world. I can only imagine the execs at Disney sitting around the table at a meeting saying "We need to cut down on our costs, what can we do?" and someone says "I have designed a way to make the TP even thinner." And the leader says "That is great news! How do we make our TP even thinner?" and the executive says "We weave sand paper grit into the TP fibers." And the leader says "That is an awesome idea. Lets put it into production right away." The execs pat each other on the back and collect a big bonus check at the end of the quarter. They should invite me into the meeting. I can tell them what to do! Disney is the chief of marketing all kinds of things: Mickey watches, and shirts, and pins and pens - they have everything! How about Disney Depends undergarments? You are standing in that long two hour line and you don't want to lose your place? Just let it go! And maybe there is a computer chip with Mickey's voice that says "Way to go!". That couple walking in front of us in the parking lot could really have used some Disney Depends. And think of the money Disney could save by shutting down all the bathrooms. This could be the single best idea Disney had had since bring back Michael Jack's Captain Eo.
We had a nice day at MGM. I hope the weather improves because we are in Florida to see the sun shine!
Under a gray sky, we headed to MGM studios for the day. It was an odd kind of a day in that it would often rain, prompting us to dig the rain ponchos out of the backpacks. As soon as we put on the ponchos, it would stop raining. We would take the ponchos off, carefully fold and pack them away. And then it would rain again. We played this game all day - taking the ponchos out of the backpacks, and putting them back in. It was as if we were on a movie set and someone was playing a prank on us. After several hours of this game, we gave up. And decided to just get wet.
It is just as well that we stopped using the ponchos. People who know me know I like to pinch a penny. These rain ponchos are easily 13 years old and have never been cleaned. They get used once every couple of years, dried off, and then packed away. They smell. To say they were fowl would be an improvement to their actual smell. Removing them does not remove the smell from one's body. So, each time I must go to the restroom and wash my hands. Washing one's hands at Disney is impossible. Even though Florida is surrounded on three sides by water and dotted by hundreds of lakes, they must conserve water. When washing your hands, the automatic sinks disperse just one ounce of water in a spray. I know it is one ounce because I measured it in my water bottle. I can do a better job washing my hands by spitting on them. Which is what I often reverted to doing.
We devised a cleaver plan to avoid using ponchos every time it rained. When it rained, we would jump into the nearest store because all the stores on the street were interconnected. We would pass through from one store to the next until we reached the end of the street. Run across the street. Then into the next store.
The problem with this plan is that others would run to store too, take one step inside, and then stop - blocking the doorway from anyone else who would like to enter. They would gather their party together "It is really raining out there";. Well, no kidding! I'm still standing in it. Can you please move into the store? Others liked to stand in the doorway and watch people running up and down the street in the rain. I'm sure it was a great pastime activity, maybe they were watching for Brazilian blonds, I don't know, but please don't block the door while you are watching! There was one teen who was eating her ice cream in the middle of the door way. She was easily 1/3 my weight and I'm running through the rain charging right at her, thundering with each footfall. She didn't even flinch as I barreled past. Are you nuts? If I had hit her, I would have knocked her clear into the next store!
Lunch at the Scifi Drive in was perfect. Other than Mike dropping his toasted cheese on the floor and then trying to pick it up so he can eat it, and the outrageous price ($9 for onion rings?), we love the SciFi Drive in.
We went to the Indiana Jones Stunt Show. Unfortunately, it had been raining and the set was wet so they need an abbreviated show. To make it worse, the show had some bugs in it. No, I mean, really, there were bugs. Insects. I was watching the show when I noticed a lady near me squealing, jumping around, and smacking herself. I thought, perhaps, it was a medical condition. Until I saw the person next to her do the same thing. And very quickly, that entire section was on their feet, stomping their feet, squealing, and slapping themselves. I could see all these green beetles on the floor scurrying all around their bags and belongings. I became concerned... For myself. I picked up my bag and slid away from the group. They grabbed their belongings and ran out of the theater. I thought - geez, that was really gross! But I didn't bother to say anything when another couple saw the open seats and came to sit down in the bug infested row.
Just so you don't think I am a horrible person for not mentioning anything about the bugs, let me explain what Disney is like in July. At Disney, English speaking natives are a minority. I don't know why, but Spanish is the natural language in the land of Disney. Perhaps it is winter in South America so many visit Florida (we have seen huge tour groups from all around Latin America). Or perhaps the weak US dollar is encouraging travel. Whatever the case may be, chances are? If I said there were bugs on their bench, they wouldn't know what I was saying anyways. In this land of babble, it is easier (and more enjoyable) to just to sit back and watch the show of another group get attacked by green beetles. I have seen India Jones a hundred times (big secret - the guy who stands on one leg? Is the paid actor). But this is the first time I have seen The Attack Of The Green Beetles.
I suppose the beetles might be attacking as revenge for all the roaches we are killing back at the house. By the way, eleven dead insects versus 0 dead humans - we are winning! I read that there are more bugs in a square mile of dirt (not a cube, a square) than the entire population of humans. Each human would have to kill 100 million bugs for us to win the Star Troopers war! With this obvious problem, I don't understand why there is human starvation in the world.
We road on Star Tours. Or, as I call it, the vomit comet with pilot Lou-Up Chuck. The ride isn't as bad as it used to be. When it first opened, you were almost guaranteed someone was going to pass up their lunch on the ride. Usually that someone was me. They redesigned the ride and now it is much better. You have a one in four chance of seeing someone puke.
After a fun day in the park, we road the tram back to our car. We walked with a crowd from the tram to our cars. In the crowd was a man and woman in their late forties. The man suddenly stops, pauses, and rips the loudest sloppiest fart I have ever heard. And then his wife pauses and rips and even louder fart. That is love! A couple that farts together stays together. After the momentary pause, they continued to their car unaffected, while those of us down wind held our breaths until we were blue in the face.
It really isn't this couple's fault. I give them no bad will. The bathrooms are so bad at Disney, I too have considered crapping myself to avoid using them. The toilet paper is the worse in the world. I can only imagine the execs at Disney sitting around the table at a meeting saying "We need to cut down on our costs, what can we do?" and someone says "I have designed a way to make the TP even thinner." And the leader says "That is great news! How do we make our TP even thinner?" and the executive says "We weave sand paper grit into the TP fibers." And the leader says "That is an awesome idea. Lets put it into production right away." The execs pat each other on the back and collect a big bonus check at the end of the quarter. They should invite me into the meeting. I can tell them what to do! Disney is the chief of marketing all kinds of things: Mickey watches, and shirts, and pins and pens - they have everything! How about Disney Depends undergarments? You are standing in that long two hour line and you don't want to lose your place? Just let it go! And maybe there is a computer chip with Mickey's voice that says "Way to go!". That couple walking in front of us in the parking lot could really have used some Disney Depends. And think of the money Disney could save by shutting down all the bathrooms. This could be the single best idea Disney had had since bring back Michael Jack's Captain Eo.
We had a nice day at MGM. I hope the weather improves because we are in Florida to see the sun shine!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
New Shoes For Disney
Take a look at your shoes. A Disney vacation usually requires walking for miles
every day. Occasionally I will see a woman touring Disney in should built for
style, not function, and can only imagine how crippled her feet will be with
blisters by the end of the day.
Do you have a good pair of walking shoes? If you are in need of some new shoes, you should get the shoes in time to break them in before your vacation. Failure to wear good shoes to Disney will result in sore feet and blisters. Don't let that happen to you!
Do you have a good pair of walking shoes? If you are in need of some new shoes, you should get the shoes in time to break them in before your vacation. Failure to wear good shoes to Disney will result in sore feet and blisters. Don't let that happen to you!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
2013: Epcot
The day started with Breakfast at Ohana. This is an all you an gorge yourself
meal until you pass out and enter a food coma broken up by character visits. We
saw Mickey, stitch, lelo, Pluto and that goofy waiter. The food was good. But
then again, it is difficult to screw up scrambled eggs.
Afterwards we headed to Epcot. The journeys into the park are a physical challenge. Not just because it is hot. And not just because we tend to walk for ten hours. But also because I am the family pack mule carrying almost everything anyone might want in my back pack. This includes heavy batteries for cameras and ten water bottles! Of course I encourage proper hydration (only so I can lighten my load). Drink up everyone!
In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark cuts down the neighbor's pine tree and drags it into his living room for a Christmas tree. What Clark didn't know was the tree was home to a squirrel who pounced on Clark.
When I saw that scene in the movie I thought it was ridiculous. But I was reminded of it as we watched one of the many squirrels at Epcot. As we watched, a second squirrel out of no where pounced on the first and a wild chase started. It was fun to watch until the chase lead the squirrels running around my feet! I broke out dancing right there in Epcot as I tried to get away without stepping on one! Could you imagine what the mob would have done to me if I had stomped a squirrel at Disney?
Epcot has an aquarium that has been remodeled after the Finding Nemo movie. Mike loved the aquarium. It wasn't long before he wondered off. Finding Nemo turned into Finding Mike as we searched the place for him. We found him on the second floor trying to take a picture of a shark. Every time he took a picture the camera would flash and reflect against the glass. Undaunted, he kept taking the pictures and couldn't understand why none were coming out.
We walked around the world showcase and visited various countries, dodging in and out of air conditioning. We rode on Malestorm, which is a wild boat ride where angry trolls send your boat down a waterfall. We boarded the Malestorm boat, took off, rounded the first curve and the ride broke down. That should have been our first sign that we were in trouble! The ride started up again and when we hit the waterfall area, the ride broke us down a second time leaving us suspended over the falls! Norweigens are known for building boats but obviously not for building rides. We are suspended over the falls when a voice comes on "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated". Technical difficulties? Does that mean the safety devices that pervent our boat from flipping over the falls are disabled? And remain seated? I was concerned that if I moved a muscle I might throw the boat off balance and send us hurdeling down the falls! The voice came back on "Please remain seated. We will be starting the ride momentarily". The thought crossed that perhaps they didn't know we were perilously suspending at the fall's edge. "The ride is starting now" and with one great shuv, our boat fell down the falls and we landed with a terrific splash. When the ride ended, I had never been more happy to be on dry ground, I almost knelt and kissed the carpet.
We survived Malestorm and made it to the USA area of Epcot. In the USA building, they have singers who sing several historic US favorites in the lobby. We really wanted to see this so we arrived twenty minutes early to get the best seats. Finally the singers came out in 1800's costumes and lined up in the lobby to begin their songs... Lined up with their backs to us! We arrived early for this? I am sure the show would have been really good if we could have seen the singers.
At the end of the day we got into position to see the Iluminations fireworks show. This is where people stand around a lake and get upset because they cant see the fireworks show through the obstructions nor tell what the heck is on that big ball in the middle of the water. the only comfortable places to stand and watch the show just happen to be all the places cast members tell you to move away from. A cast member had told us the best spot to watch the show was near France at the back of the park. But when we arrived, it was already crowded. We took the best spot we could find, which wasn't very good. For some reason, Disney has several islands on the lake whose only purpose is to grow tall obstructing trees. We tried watching the show through these trees. Who is the moron who grew trees in the middle of the lake? An hour with a chainsaw would have solved the problem and made thousands of people happy!
After the show everyone stampedes for the gates to get out of the park. Since we were in the back of the park, we were in the back of the hurd and had the longest trek to reach the gate. All the while we had to fight the crowd to keep from getting split up. It felt like we walked five miles to get out of the park!
We arrived home, sore from walking so far, but glad we had a great day at Epcot.
Afterwards we headed to Epcot. The journeys into the park are a physical challenge. Not just because it is hot. And not just because we tend to walk for ten hours. But also because I am the family pack mule carrying almost everything anyone might want in my back pack. This includes heavy batteries for cameras and ten water bottles! Of course I encourage proper hydration (only so I can lighten my load). Drink up everyone!
In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Clark cuts down the neighbor's pine tree and drags it into his living room for a Christmas tree. What Clark didn't know was the tree was home to a squirrel who pounced on Clark.
When I saw that scene in the movie I thought it was ridiculous. But I was reminded of it as we watched one of the many squirrels at Epcot. As we watched, a second squirrel out of no where pounced on the first and a wild chase started. It was fun to watch until the chase lead the squirrels running around my feet! I broke out dancing right there in Epcot as I tried to get away without stepping on one! Could you imagine what the mob would have done to me if I had stomped a squirrel at Disney?
Epcot has an aquarium that has been remodeled after the Finding Nemo movie. Mike loved the aquarium. It wasn't long before he wondered off. Finding Nemo turned into Finding Mike as we searched the place for him. We found him on the second floor trying to take a picture of a shark. Every time he took a picture the camera would flash and reflect against the glass. Undaunted, he kept taking the pictures and couldn't understand why none were coming out.
We walked around the world showcase and visited various countries, dodging in and out of air conditioning. We rode on Malestorm, which is a wild boat ride where angry trolls send your boat down a waterfall. We boarded the Malestorm boat, took off, rounded the first curve and the ride broke down. That should have been our first sign that we were in trouble! The ride started up again and when we hit the waterfall area, the ride broke us down a second time leaving us suspended over the falls! Norweigens are known for building boats but obviously not for building rides. We are suspended over the falls when a voice comes on "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated". Technical difficulties? Does that mean the safety devices that pervent our boat from flipping over the falls are disabled? And remain seated? I was concerned that if I moved a muscle I might throw the boat off balance and send us hurdeling down the falls! The voice came back on "Please remain seated. We will be starting the ride momentarily". The thought crossed that perhaps they didn't know we were perilously suspending at the fall's edge. "The ride is starting now" and with one great shuv, our boat fell down the falls and we landed with a terrific splash. When the ride ended, I had never been more happy to be on dry ground, I almost knelt and kissed the carpet.
We survived Malestorm and made it to the USA area of Epcot. In the USA building, they have singers who sing several historic US favorites in the lobby. We really wanted to see this so we arrived twenty minutes early to get the best seats. Finally the singers came out in 1800's costumes and lined up in the lobby to begin their songs... Lined up with their backs to us! We arrived early for this? I am sure the show would have been really good if we could have seen the singers.
At the end of the day we got into position to see the Iluminations fireworks show. This is where people stand around a lake and get upset because they cant see the fireworks show through the obstructions nor tell what the heck is on that big ball in the middle of the water. the only comfortable places to stand and watch the show just happen to be all the places cast members tell you to move away from. A cast member had told us the best spot to watch the show was near France at the back of the park. But when we arrived, it was already crowded. We took the best spot we could find, which wasn't very good. For some reason, Disney has several islands on the lake whose only purpose is to grow tall obstructing trees. We tried watching the show through these trees. Who is the moron who grew trees in the middle of the lake? An hour with a chainsaw would have solved the problem and made thousands of people happy!
After the show everyone stampedes for the gates to get out of the park. Since we were in the back of the park, we were in the back of the hurd and had the longest trek to reach the gate. All the while we had to fight the crowd to keep from getting split up. It felt like we walked five miles to get out of the park!
We arrived home, sore from walking so far, but glad we had a great day at Epcot.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Gettysburg
We always stop at Gettysburg PA on the way home from Disney. One year we stayed
at the Gettysburg Hotel downtown, but I found that to be expensive, challenged
with parking, not welcoming, and in need of refurbishment. All the rest of the
time we stay at the Days Inn on York Street. I haven't had luck with most Days
Inn, but this hotel is wonderful.
With frequent stops it will take 18 hours to drive from Kissimmee to Gettysburg. We will arrive at Gettysburg late Friday afternoon in time to enjoy dinner and a ghost walk. We will tour and hike the battlefield on Saturday.
Gettysburg has a wonderful visitor center with many things to do. On Sunday we will visit Hershey PA to see the Chocolate World attractions. Chocolate World (not the amusement park) is like a little mini Disney all themed on Hershey Chocolate. Once stuffed with chocolate, we will drive the remaining 6 hours home.
I have the Gettysburg hotel reserved! Now I just need to pick one of the ghost tours (we have our favorites) or perhaps a dinner show.
With frequent stops it will take 18 hours to drive from Kissimmee to Gettysburg. We will arrive at Gettysburg late Friday afternoon in time to enjoy dinner and a ghost walk. We will tour and hike the battlefield on Saturday.
Gettysburg has a wonderful visitor center with many things to do. On Sunday we will visit Hershey PA to see the Chocolate World attractions. Chocolate World (not the amusement park) is like a little mini Disney all themed on Hershey Chocolate. Once stuffed with chocolate, we will drive the remaining 6 hours home.
I have the Gettysburg hotel reserved! Now I just need to pick one of the ghost tours (we have our favorites) or perhaps a dinner show.
Monday, May 12, 2014
2013: Brazilian Blonds At Animal Kingdom
We woke up and I offered to make breakfast. The house we are renting has a gas
stove. I haven't used a gas stove in 25 years! The oven was easy to use - just
hit the button, the oven lights, and all is good.
So I put the pan on the stove and turned the knob. After checking on a few things, I returned to the disappointment that the pan was still cold. What happened? Apparently you have to turn the knob to LiGHT first. I didn't know that. Unfortunately, the kitchen was now filled with gas. So that when I turned the knob to light, I heard a loud "Woof" and found all the hairs on my arm burnt off.
Linda came out of the bedroom and said "why does the house smell like gas?"
And I just said "I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with the stove... Lets pick up breakfast on the way."
We headed to Animal Kingdom at the crack of noon. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day in Florida when we left. But as soon as we arrived at the park? Gilbert luck kicked in. Tropical Storm Chantal decided to pay a visit. At first, it was just a drizzle, which gave us enough time to jump into Pizza Safari before the skies opened and it down poured for an hour.
This week there are many tour groups from Latin America visiting. They were caught in the down pour and cracking thunder and were running in herds for shelter anywhere they could find it. Eventually the storm passed but it left most of the rides we wanted out of order.
Animal Kingdom is our least favorite park. We live in the country surrounded by wilderness: bears, foxes, coyote, beaver, otters, deer, possum, and those guys that hang out at the corner down town. Walking on trails through the woods to see an animal is too much like home. If you love the zoo? Animal kingdom is for you. But not for us.
The Lion King and Nemo shows are good. Tough to be a Bug's 3D is very old and needs to be updated. Having all the rest of our favorite rides out if order made a bad park that much worse.
Before coming to Disney, Linda finished her first Karate class. In this class she learned how to break a board with her bare hand. She just leans into the punch and crack! The board breaks in half! I feel safe going into strange places now because I know my wife can defend me.
We walked around the Animal Kingdom and everything and everyone was soaking wet from the tropical down poor. The sun was starting to come out, but there was still a cold dampness to the air. That it when it happened. A tall Brazilian blond in her late twenties came by. She had been caught in the down poor and unfortunately wore a white shirt to the park. And I guess they don't wear bras in Brazil because this had the effect of a wet t-shirt. She seemed completely comfortable with her wardrobe malfunction.
Guys are wired just a certain way. It is unavoidable. When this woman came by, even a blind man would have turned his head to look. A gay man would had gawked. And me, being a normal healthy straight guy? It was impossible to not at least notice this. It was such an oddity to see in a family oriented park. This isn't a wet T-shirt contest during spring break at Daytona Beach! This is Disney! And for her to be so oblivious to it seemed even more incredible.
Suddenly I heard a loud crack and pain shot through the entire left side of my body. Had I just been hit by lightening? Was this the last thing I would hear before seeing Jesus? No. Linda had delivered one if her board breaking karate punches into my arm. She followed it with "You look at her again and you are sleeping on the couch."
My arm! My arm was now dead and limp for the rest of the day, useless, as a reminder of my innocent transgression.
With Animal kingdom sucking worse than it normally sucks, we decided to leave and go to Down Town Disney. Unfortunately, everyone else decided this too. We parked at Down Town way out in the over flow parking lot's over flow lot. We were so far away, it would have been faster to walk the other way around the lake to get to Down Town. After an hour fighting traffic and crowds we decided the place was too packed. We walked around for a while, then gave up on any chance of doing something fun and left to find dinner.
Dinner was found at the Sizzler. We haven't been to a Sizzler since our honeymoon in 1991 when Linda upset a waiter by giving him a dirty look for seating us so far away from the buffet. The Sizzler was an interesting experience. Like Ponderosa (or, Pound of Gross Out, as we used to call it when they were still open in new York), you order a meal and eat at a buffet and take your meal home. And afterward had the additional benefit of cleaning you out gastronomically.
We returned home in desperate need to use a restroom. But the sprinklers were on again. Faced with getting wet or crapping myself, I ran through the sprinklers and became more wet in that dash than Tropical Storm Chantal had made me all day.
I woke the next day, rubbing my still sore arm. Hoping for a better day!
So I put the pan on the stove and turned the knob. After checking on a few things, I returned to the disappointment that the pan was still cold. What happened? Apparently you have to turn the knob to LiGHT first. I didn't know that. Unfortunately, the kitchen was now filled with gas. So that when I turned the knob to light, I heard a loud "Woof" and found all the hairs on my arm burnt off.
Linda came out of the bedroom and said "why does the house smell like gas?"
And I just said "I don't know, maybe there is something wrong with the stove... Lets pick up breakfast on the way."
We headed to Animal Kingdom at the crack of noon. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day in Florida when we left. But as soon as we arrived at the park? Gilbert luck kicked in. Tropical Storm Chantal decided to pay a visit. At first, it was just a drizzle, which gave us enough time to jump into Pizza Safari before the skies opened and it down poured for an hour.
This week there are many tour groups from Latin America visiting. They were caught in the down pour and cracking thunder and were running in herds for shelter anywhere they could find it. Eventually the storm passed but it left most of the rides we wanted out of order.
Animal Kingdom is our least favorite park. We live in the country surrounded by wilderness: bears, foxes, coyote, beaver, otters, deer, possum, and those guys that hang out at the corner down town. Walking on trails through the woods to see an animal is too much like home. If you love the zoo? Animal kingdom is for you. But not for us.
The Lion King and Nemo shows are good. Tough to be a Bug's 3D is very old and needs to be updated. Having all the rest of our favorite rides out if order made a bad park that much worse.
Before coming to Disney, Linda finished her first Karate class. In this class she learned how to break a board with her bare hand. She just leans into the punch and crack! The board breaks in half! I feel safe going into strange places now because I know my wife can defend me.
We walked around the Animal Kingdom and everything and everyone was soaking wet from the tropical down poor. The sun was starting to come out, but there was still a cold dampness to the air. That it when it happened. A tall Brazilian blond in her late twenties came by. She had been caught in the down poor and unfortunately wore a white shirt to the park. And I guess they don't wear bras in Brazil because this had the effect of a wet t-shirt. She seemed completely comfortable with her wardrobe malfunction.
Guys are wired just a certain way. It is unavoidable. When this woman came by, even a blind man would have turned his head to look. A gay man would had gawked. And me, being a normal healthy straight guy? It was impossible to not at least notice this. It was such an oddity to see in a family oriented park. This isn't a wet T-shirt contest during spring break at Daytona Beach! This is Disney! And for her to be so oblivious to it seemed even more incredible.
Suddenly I heard a loud crack and pain shot through the entire left side of my body. Had I just been hit by lightening? Was this the last thing I would hear before seeing Jesus? No. Linda had delivered one if her board breaking karate punches into my arm. She followed it with "You look at her again and you are sleeping on the couch."
My arm! My arm was now dead and limp for the rest of the day, useless, as a reminder of my innocent transgression.
With Animal kingdom sucking worse than it normally sucks, we decided to leave and go to Down Town Disney. Unfortunately, everyone else decided this too. We parked at Down Town way out in the over flow parking lot's over flow lot. We were so far away, it would have been faster to walk the other way around the lake to get to Down Town. After an hour fighting traffic and crowds we decided the place was too packed. We walked around for a while, then gave up on any chance of doing something fun and left to find dinner.
Dinner was found at the Sizzler. We haven't been to a Sizzler since our honeymoon in 1991 when Linda upset a waiter by giving him a dirty look for seating us so far away from the buffet. The Sizzler was an interesting experience. Like Ponderosa (or, Pound of Gross Out, as we used to call it when they were still open in new York), you order a meal and eat at a buffet and take your meal home. And afterward had the additional benefit of cleaning you out gastronomically.
We returned home in desperate need to use a restroom. But the sprinklers were on again. Faced with getting wet or crapping myself, I ran through the sprinklers and became more wet in that dash than Tropical Storm Chantal had made me all day.
I woke the next day, rubbing my still sore arm. Hoping for a better day!
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