Driving to Walmart was a mad house. A six lane road filled with people who had
no idea where they were going. Some would cut into a lane or start a turn only
to realize it was the wrong turn. The road was completely congested by idiots.
It took us 20 minutes to drive only 7 miles!
When we finally made it to
Walmart and entered the store, we were exposed to a new experience. I often see
on TV the foreign markets in third world nations where people are packed into
areas. Merchants have tables set up selling everything from live chickens to
jewelry. And people crawl over top each other, shoving their way to the tables
barter and buy everything they need.
Walmart reminded of these third
world markets. The place was packed. It was difficult to find a place to stand
that wasn't in the way of someone else. There was a mix of people who were
relaxing and taking their time, and those who wanted to grab their groceries and
get out. There were those who wanted to study the packaging and those who wanted
to shove the aforementioned out of the way so they could get what they needed.
Many would leave their carts across the aisle, or worse yet, have their kids
across the aisle blocking others. Forget about getting cheese puffs - there was
always someone's cart blocking the way cheese puffs!
Walmart is the great
melting pot of cultures and peoples. I detected at least five different dialects
(six if you count Southern USA as a separate dialect). After seeing this
mishmash of various people from various areas around the world, I understand why
there are wars. People are very different. Someone from the North East USA tends
to be a no BS, get it done kind of a person. I'm going into the store and grab
fifteen things and get out. For others, this is social hour. Or family values
time. Or some have never seen a walmart before. Some can't decide if they want
mild or medium salsa - hay, if it isn't hot? It is all the same, just put it in
your cart and move on! We aren't making life and death decisions - you are
buying bananas. That little black spot won't kill you. And if you have to ask
your mate if you should get plastic spoons? You don't need them - move
on.
I am going down the aisle and the shelves are becoming empty. I'm
thinking perhaps the apocalypse has been announced and this is the rush on
groceries. Maybe I should get an extra can of beans or something. But the
Walmart employees are frantically wheeling out more groceries trying to fill the
shelves faster than they are getting emptied. The aisles are packed with
overloaded shopping carts. The carts are so heavy that people can't move them.
They have the smallest and youngest of their party (usually a five year old)
pushing the overloaded cart and ramming it into other carts, other people,
knocking stuff off the shelves. Complete disregard for humanity. It was worse
than rope drop on Christmas Day.
We had our cart full of groceries and I
shout to Linda over the noise of the crowd "We need to get out of here before we
die".We tried to find a register that wasn't backed 15 people deep. I found one
and think "Oh thank God, just get me out of here!" As I pull my cart in, I
notice there are two cashiers at this register and they are putting on rubber
gloves, face masks, and are spraying the registers down with some kind of
cleaner. Obviously a bio hazard. I'm thinking: dear God it is the apocalypse, we
are going to get some disease, and I never grabbed that extra can of
beans.
So, I push my overloaded cart back through the crowd to
another register. I just wanted to get out of there - I didn't even use coupons.
I don't think I'll be returning to the Walmart on Rt. 27. I just hope this isn't
what it is like to live in Florida!
Relocating To Disney
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
2013: Water Damage
I set up my home office in front of the villa's front window overlooking the
neighborhood. As I work, I can enjoy the Florida landscape. On Wednesday, a huge
vulture landed on the front yard, gobbled up a gecko, and then took flight.
Later in the afternoon, two 3 foot cranes walked down the sidewalk and passed
the house, and continued down the street. They looked like they were just two
neighbors out for a stroll.
After work we ate dinner at the Golden Corral. While most people found their own seats, a waitress asked us to follow her. She sat my family of four at a table that could hold ten people. I thought that was odd. She then set up signs on her other tables that said "Reserved" and told people they couldn't sit in her section in attempt to reduce her work load. This was successful until other waitresses came to her and got into an argument.
With our bellies over-stuffed with food, we went to the Fantasia Miniature Golf. We had never been there before and had a great time. Afterward, we swung through a grocery store to get a few more cases of water, and then headed home. We arrived home and the family headed indoors while I unloaded the cases of water from the van.
In Florida, it becomes very hot. Proper watering of the lawn and landscaping is essential. But watering can be a lot of work, so, the standard practices is to use an automated sprinkler system. The sprinklers are strategically deployed around the house for the maximum coverage of the lawn and bushes.
As I carried the second case of water to the house, the sprinkler system turned on and hit me. You have probably seen in movies when the sprinklers turn on, people caught in them start dancing around as their pants get sprinkled on. That is not what happened to me. At all.
There is a tall palm tree in the front yard. Near the front door, there is a water cannon that sprays the top of the tree, and shoots water across the entire front yard extended all the way to the street. I mention it is a cannon because of the incredible velocity necessary to fire the water such incredible distances.
As I headed to the front door with my case of water in my hands, the water cannon turned on and fired a blast into my chest. I was in the line of fire as the stream of water began exploding from the nozzle. It hit me so hard and was so unexpected and the ground was so wet that it knocked me off my feet. I hit the ground flat on my back and cracked my head on the ground. But that is not the end of the story. You might recall that I had been caring a case of water. Because I had been knocked to the ground, I was no longer caring the case of water. The case was now airborn. And landed on my head.
I pushed the case of water off my face. In the dark of night I tried to determine if I was covered in blood or water, because now the smaller sprinklers had turned on and were drenching me thoroughly at this point. The smaller sprinklers were just adding insult to my injuries. Luckily, other than being a little sore? No damage was done. Except perhaps to my pride.
They say that parts of Florida have high crime rates. That might not be true for the area we are staying at. But I can now return to New York and proudly proclaim that I was shot while in Florida. Yes. Shot with a water cannon. But shot nonetheless.
After work we ate dinner at the Golden Corral. While most people found their own seats, a waitress asked us to follow her. She sat my family of four at a table that could hold ten people. I thought that was odd. She then set up signs on her other tables that said "Reserved" and told people they couldn't sit in her section in attempt to reduce her work load. This was successful until other waitresses came to her and got into an argument.
With our bellies over-stuffed with food, we went to the Fantasia Miniature Golf. We had never been there before and had a great time. Afterward, we swung through a grocery store to get a few more cases of water, and then headed home. We arrived home and the family headed indoors while I unloaded the cases of water from the van.
In Florida, it becomes very hot. Proper watering of the lawn and landscaping is essential. But watering can be a lot of work, so, the standard practices is to use an automated sprinkler system. The sprinklers are strategically deployed around the house for the maximum coverage of the lawn and bushes.
As I carried the second case of water to the house, the sprinkler system turned on and hit me. You have probably seen in movies when the sprinklers turn on, people caught in them start dancing around as their pants get sprinkled on. That is not what happened to me. At all.
There is a tall palm tree in the front yard. Near the front door, there is a water cannon that sprays the top of the tree, and shoots water across the entire front yard extended all the way to the street. I mention it is a cannon because of the incredible velocity necessary to fire the water such incredible distances.
As I headed to the front door with my case of water in my hands, the water cannon turned on and fired a blast into my chest. I was in the line of fire as the stream of water began exploding from the nozzle. It hit me so hard and was so unexpected and the ground was so wet that it knocked me off my feet. I hit the ground flat on my back and cracked my head on the ground. But that is not the end of the story. You might recall that I had been caring a case of water. Because I had been knocked to the ground, I was no longer caring the case of water. The case was now airborn. And landed on my head.
I pushed the case of water off my face. In the dark of night I tried to determine if I was covered in blood or water, because now the smaller sprinklers had turned on and were drenching me thoroughly at this point. The smaller sprinklers were just adding insult to my injuries. Luckily, other than being a little sore? No damage was done. Except perhaps to my pride.
They say that parts of Florida have high crime rates. That might not be true for the area we are staying at. But I can now return to New York and proudly proclaim that I was shot while in Florida. Yes. Shot with a water cannon. But shot nonetheless.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
2013: A Light Shower
Another journey back in time to the 2013
trip.
~~2013~~
Our goal is to experience what it is like to live in Florida. We are usually warned about hurricanes hitting Florida. My response is always: in the past two years we have had two hurricanes hit New York and none hit Florida. So, where is the real concern? I think it is just a bunch of hot air (no pun intended). We are in Florida for a month and it is going to be nothing but blue skies and sun shine!
And then we hear about this thing called Tropical Storm Chantal. Chantal is not a hurricane, but it is a significant storm that threatens my blue skies! We have been keeping a close eye on the storm as it passes into the Bahamas and heads North. Forecasts say it will head up the coast of Florida, and then immediately swing west across our path. And with our luck? It will pause over house and stall. That’s just the way things tend to go for us.
Living in New York, I am well accustom to grey skies. And living through winters near Lake Ontario, I am very experienced with 60mph winds because an icy wind blows all year long. How bad could a tropical storm be in comparison? Here’s my thought: life is hard in upstate New York; we see 50mph winds and don’t think twice. But I think that in paradise, Floridians get upset if a cloud passes in front of the sun. Their forecast calls for showers regularly – in New York that means 3 or 4 days of flooding rains; in Florida it means a 15 minute pop-up thunder shower. I’m thinking they are over reacting. That a tropical storm is just a rainy and windy day. It is a minor disruption in paradise.
And chances are excellent that the computer models are all wrong, that Chantal will continue traveling north and slam New York. We should have our answer by this weekend. I am sure we have nothing to worry about...
~~2013~~
Our goal is to experience what it is like to live in Florida. We are usually warned about hurricanes hitting Florida. My response is always: in the past two years we have had two hurricanes hit New York and none hit Florida. So, where is the real concern? I think it is just a bunch of hot air (no pun intended). We are in Florida for a month and it is going to be nothing but blue skies and sun shine!
And then we hear about this thing called Tropical Storm Chantal. Chantal is not a hurricane, but it is a significant storm that threatens my blue skies! We have been keeping a close eye on the storm as it passes into the Bahamas and heads North. Forecasts say it will head up the coast of Florida, and then immediately swing west across our path. And with our luck? It will pause over house and stall. That’s just the way things tend to go for us.
Living in New York, I am well accustom to grey skies. And living through winters near Lake Ontario, I am very experienced with 60mph winds because an icy wind blows all year long. How bad could a tropical storm be in comparison? Here’s my thought: life is hard in upstate New York; we see 50mph winds and don’t think twice. But I think that in paradise, Floridians get upset if a cloud passes in front of the sun. Their forecast calls for showers regularly – in New York that means 3 or 4 days of flooding rains; in Florida it means a 15 minute pop-up thunder shower. I’m thinking they are over reacting. That a tropical storm is just a rainy and windy day. It is a minor disruption in paradise.
And chances are excellent that the computer models are all wrong, that Chantal will continue traveling north and slam New York. We should have our answer by this weekend. I am sure we have nothing to worry about...
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
2013: Starship Troopers
One of my favorite movies is Star Ship Troopers. The Earth is under attack so
they mount an army to go fight alien bugs that have infested planets around the
galaxy. At first, they think they are fighting a bunch of dumb bugs. But as the
movie progresses, they realize the bugs have a shared intelligence and take
orders from a brain that outsmarts the humans and nearly destroys the army in
one battle.
I think the people who created Star Ship Troopers must have lived in Florida. Because living in Florida means living with bugs.
You wouldn't know this by visiting Disney World. Disney has a heavy bug control program. If you look outside of the resorts in the evening, you can sometimes see the insect killing fog, and crews are regularly spraying.
After working my first day from Florida, we decided to reward ourselves with a trip to DownTown Disney. It has been years since I have walked from one end of DTD to the other and I was surprised at all the changes. There were many outside musicians, and the area is now filled with fabulous businesses.
At the end of the evening we returned home. And when we entered and flipped on the light? We saw a bug scurry away. Linda started screaming for me but by this time I had already taken off my shoes. "Step on it" I told her, but she refused. I looked for something to crush it with and finally I said "Take off your show and give it to me". She did and I delivered the death blow.
As I examined the carcass, I realized I was looking at a cockroach! "Is it dead?" Linda asked.
"Yes," I reassured her. And then the dead insect rolled over and scurried away. I chased after it, slamming Linda's shoe to the floor in hot pursuit and I was trying to kill it before it got away. I ran into the wall and then slammed into a chair but I kept in pursuit until finally: whack! I got him! And I hit him again. And again. To make sure this terminator roach wouldn't come back to life. Again!
"You have to hear a crunch" Linda said.
"A crunch?" Very well. Again! And again! Until finally CRUNCH. Got 'em!
Score one for the human population! Humans:1, Roaches 0.
We live in Upstate New York. We might have to kill an occasional ant, a small spider, or a mosquito, but we have never had to deal with roaches.
After a victory lap around the living room, we decided to inspect the rest of the house. We went room by room, flipping on lights and ready to pounce on anything that moved. We found three more live ones, and two dead ones. As the insect body count raised, Linda really freaked out because she has no tolerance for bugs in the house. Her first instinct was to grab her CSI kit and start cleaning everything. Instead, she went through the entire house and inspected everything in an obsessive bug hunt. And she suggested we all spend the night sleeping sitting up with the lights on (I talked her out of that).
When we arrived at the house, we noticed a copious number of pest control devices. Our assumption was the house had ants. As a result, we kept all our food sealed in containers and washed everything. We didn't realize the house didn't have an ant problem. It had a roach problem!
On the morning of our second full day, I contacted the management company and complained. They explained that this is Florida, Florida has bugs, and this is the time of the year to expect them. They agreed to put more poison around the house, but assured us this is not a problem (sure... Not a problem for them!)
I was very relieved after talking to the management company. I had been mistaken thought that finding six roaches in one evening represented an infestation and a problem. But they assured me I was mistaken and this was not a problem. In fact, it was so much not a problem? It was a way of life. A Floridian life.
We rented this house because we wanted to experience what it was like to live in Florida. And if living in Florida means keeping roaches as pets, I guess we just need to get used to it and enjoy the company.
I think the people who created Star Ship Troopers must have lived in Florida. Because living in Florida means living with bugs.
You wouldn't know this by visiting Disney World. Disney has a heavy bug control program. If you look outside of the resorts in the evening, you can sometimes see the insect killing fog, and crews are regularly spraying.
After working my first day from Florida, we decided to reward ourselves with a trip to DownTown Disney. It has been years since I have walked from one end of DTD to the other and I was surprised at all the changes. There were many outside musicians, and the area is now filled with fabulous businesses.
At the end of the evening we returned home. And when we entered and flipped on the light? We saw a bug scurry away. Linda started screaming for me but by this time I had already taken off my shoes. "Step on it" I told her, but she refused. I looked for something to crush it with and finally I said "Take off your show and give it to me". She did and I delivered the death blow.
As I examined the carcass, I realized I was looking at a cockroach! "Is it dead?" Linda asked.
"Yes," I reassured her. And then the dead insect rolled over and scurried away. I chased after it, slamming Linda's shoe to the floor in hot pursuit and I was trying to kill it before it got away. I ran into the wall and then slammed into a chair but I kept in pursuit until finally: whack! I got him! And I hit him again. And again. To make sure this terminator roach wouldn't come back to life. Again!
"You have to hear a crunch" Linda said.
"A crunch?" Very well. Again! And again! Until finally CRUNCH. Got 'em!
Score one for the human population! Humans:1, Roaches 0.
We live in Upstate New York. We might have to kill an occasional ant, a small spider, or a mosquito, but we have never had to deal with roaches.
After a victory lap around the living room, we decided to inspect the rest of the house. We went room by room, flipping on lights and ready to pounce on anything that moved. We found three more live ones, and two dead ones. As the insect body count raised, Linda really freaked out because she has no tolerance for bugs in the house. Her first instinct was to grab her CSI kit and start cleaning everything. Instead, she went through the entire house and inspected everything in an obsessive bug hunt. And she suggested we all spend the night sleeping sitting up with the lights on (I talked her out of that).
When we arrived at the house, we noticed a copious number of pest control devices. Our assumption was the house had ants. As a result, we kept all our food sealed in containers and washed everything. We didn't realize the house didn't have an ant problem. It had a roach problem!
On the morning of our second full day, I contacted the management company and complained. They explained that this is Florida, Florida has bugs, and this is the time of the year to expect them. They agreed to put more poison around the house, but assured us this is not a problem (sure... Not a problem for them!)
I was very relieved after talking to the management company. I had been mistaken thought that finding six roaches in one evening represented an infestation and a problem. But they assured me I was mistaken and this was not a problem. In fact, it was so much not a problem? It was a way of life. A Floridian life.
We rented this house because we wanted to experience what it was like to live in Florida. And if living in Florida means keeping roaches as pets, I guess we just need to get used to it and enjoy the company.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
2013: The Villa
We made it to the house. This incredible four bedroom Floridian house. The place
is beautiful. Screened pool. Palm tree out front. Spent fire extinguisher in the
kitchen. Insect poison and traps everywhere. Bug carcasses in the nooks and
crannies. It is really a beautiful home.
My wife is an incredible woman. Usually she breaks out the CSI kit for small hotel rooms, but this is a, I don't know, 2000 sqft house. True to herself, she gets to work. All the dishes get rewashed. All the linens are removed from the beds. We seal all the mattresses in mattress bags. Then remake the beds with our own linens. The place gets vacuumed and cleaned. She is working harder to clean this house than I have ever seen her work on our house in New York (she isn't reading this, is she?).
The house has four bedrooms and three bathrooms, a garage that has been converted into a game room, a screened in pool and patio area, beautiful kitchen, breakfast nook. Very nice. The neighborhood in Indian Village is just house after house, all in the same cookie cutter fashion with beautiful lawns, incredible trees, and did I mention the blue sky and sun shine? Or the playground that is connected to our back yard?
I know, your first thought: if Kevin screwed up all the hotel reservations, how did he luck out when reserving this house? The answer? Kevin didn't reserve the house. Linda did all the research and out of hundreds upon hundreds of house rental choices? Picked this one.
Somewhere in Orlando, someone has a webcam pointing at their front yard. In my office in New York, I have a computer screen on the wall that shows that webcam. That computer screen showing the Florida webcam serves as my office window. I often look at that screen and imagine I am in Florida looking out my front window.
You can imagine that one of my most anticipated activities for this trip was to convert the front bedroom into an office. The front window has a huge picture window overlooking the palm tree and the neighborhood. Since I am working three days per week while in Florida, I had packed my entire home office and brought it with me. With the aid of a card table and a stool, I set up my six feet of monitors and wired the front bedroom. I spent the first full day in Florida at work while enjoying the incredible view that I had previously only seen through a blurry webcam.
After work? We are going to DownTown Disney to get our year passes to Disney World and to eat at the Earl of Sandwich.
My wife is an incredible woman. Usually she breaks out the CSI kit for small hotel rooms, but this is a, I don't know, 2000 sqft house. True to herself, she gets to work. All the dishes get rewashed. All the linens are removed from the beds. We seal all the mattresses in mattress bags. Then remake the beds with our own linens. The place gets vacuumed and cleaned. She is working harder to clean this house than I have ever seen her work on our house in New York (she isn't reading this, is she?).
The house has four bedrooms and three bathrooms, a garage that has been converted into a game room, a screened in pool and patio area, beautiful kitchen, breakfast nook. Very nice. The neighborhood in Indian Village is just house after house, all in the same cookie cutter fashion with beautiful lawns, incredible trees, and did I mention the blue sky and sun shine? Or the playground that is connected to our back yard?
I know, your first thought: if Kevin screwed up all the hotel reservations, how did he luck out when reserving this house? The answer? Kevin didn't reserve the house. Linda did all the research and out of hundreds upon hundreds of house rental choices? Picked this one.
Somewhere in Orlando, someone has a webcam pointing at their front yard. In my office in New York, I have a computer screen on the wall that shows that webcam. That computer screen showing the Florida webcam serves as my office window. I often look at that screen and imagine I am in Florida looking out my front window.
You can imagine that one of my most anticipated activities for this trip was to convert the front bedroom into an office. The front window has a huge picture window overlooking the palm tree and the neighborhood. Since I am working three days per week while in Florida, I had packed my entire home office and brought it with me. With the aid of a card table and a stool, I set up my six feet of monitors and wired the front bedroom. I spent the first full day in Florida at work while enjoying the incredible view that I had previously only seen through a blurry webcam.
After work? We are going to DownTown Disney to get our year passes to Disney World and to eat at the Earl of Sandwich.
Monday, April 21, 2014
2009: Conclusion
36 hours before arriving home, while in Florida, I gave my surroundings a good
look. Green grass, blue skies, warm weather, palm trees, flowers - it was
beautiful. During the trip home, we traded paradise for crappy New York in
February where everything is brown and gray and covered with dirty looking snow.
As we came out of the Allegany Mountains in Pennsylvania, we could see heavy
gray clouds so I said "It looks like we are heading back into New York!" In fact
Our town ranks in the list of cities with the most cloudy days.
My journey has raised questions. I have seen life in other states. I listened to their local talk shows, looked at their local papers, shopped their grocery stores and have returned with many questions.
Why is gasoline $.40 more expensive in NY than other states? Why are property taxes ten times more expensive? Why do NY public schools cost twice the amount as other states? Why aren't our roads as well maintained? Why is the speed limit 70mph in other states, but New York doesn't trust me to go faster than 65mph? Why is our sales tax higher (sometimes dramatically higher)? Why are most common everyday things cheaper in the south? Why is there construction occurring in the south and not in New York? Why do I see factories in the south, and crumbling empty buildings in New York? And, perhaps the biggest question: why do we put up with 8 months of crappy weather in addition to all of these issues? New York should be paying us to live here, not nice versa!
On another topic: the van. Was it the right decision to repair the van instead of purchasing the Kia? Hindsight is 20/20. Twice during the trip, I suggested we find a Kia dealership and dump the van. I stand by that suggestion and believe it was a terrible mistake to take our old van on this vacation. We were just lucky we found a garage in North Carolina who didn’t rip us off, and that we made it back home. For our next vacation, we will be taking a different vehicle!
Overall, the trip was good. If I had a better van, I would do it all over again!
My journey has raised questions. I have seen life in other states. I listened to their local talk shows, looked at their local papers, shopped their grocery stores and have returned with many questions.
Why is gasoline $.40 more expensive in NY than other states? Why are property taxes ten times more expensive? Why do NY public schools cost twice the amount as other states? Why aren't our roads as well maintained? Why is the speed limit 70mph in other states, but New York doesn't trust me to go faster than 65mph? Why is our sales tax higher (sometimes dramatically higher)? Why are most common everyday things cheaper in the south? Why is there construction occurring in the south and not in New York? Why do I see factories in the south, and crumbling empty buildings in New York? And, perhaps the biggest question: why do we put up with 8 months of crappy weather in addition to all of these issues? New York should be paying us to live here, not nice versa!
On another topic: the van. Was it the right decision to repair the van instead of purchasing the Kia? Hindsight is 20/20. Twice during the trip, I suggested we find a Kia dealership and dump the van. I stand by that suggestion and believe it was a terrible mistake to take our old van on this vacation. We were just lucky we found a garage in North Carolina who didn’t rip us off, and that we made it back home. For our next vacation, we will be taking a different vehicle!
Overall, the trip was good. If I had a better van, I would do it all over again!
Saturday, April 19, 2014
2009: The Journey Home
In many World War II movies, you see the story of a bomber returning home from a
mission over Germany. Shot up, and torn apart, the plane comes to a crash
landing on only one wheel. The crew is a mess, the plane is a mess, but at least
they made it back alive!
Before leaving Disney, we had an engine light on our van. Jim Gordon checked the error code and said, "it is just an evaporated error. Stay close to us on the way home and let me know at the first sign of trouble."
I tried to stay in front of the Gordon's by several minutes for the entire first day of the journey home. The challenge was our misdiagnosis of the food poisoning. Come to find out... It wasn't that $25 steak at all because two hours out of Disney, Mark (my oldest son) surrendered his breakfast to a barf bag.
During the first day, Mark would throw up a total of ten times. Linda spent most of the trip riding backwards in the front seat, hung over her chair and holding the barf bag. It must have been an interesting site for passing cars! At least all the barf went in the bag because I've been on trips where we weren't that fortunate, and the stench of barf is repulsive. This time, the van would flood with the stench of barf, but we could close the bag and drop off the barf bags at the next gas station.
Unfortunately, I am a sympathetic barfer myself. If someone around me barfs, I have a tendency to follow. So, when the barfing started, I would roll down the window and hang my head out of the van (while traveling 80mph, of course - we had to stay in front of the Gordon's).
We entered the Virginia Mountains at dark. Driving in the dark through the mountains at a high rate of speed is about as close to the video game Mario Cart as you'd ever want to get in real life. When they report the highway dead statistics, I am convinced the majority of those deaths occur in the Virginia Mountains. In fact, due to the steep cliffs, I would bet there are more deaths then known - there are just piles of crumpled cars at the bottom of the ravine. In one situation I saw, a tractor trailer was so heavy that, while traveling down the mountain slopes, he couldn't hit his breaks and stop before hitting the car in front on him. So, to avoid an accident, he kept yanking his rig into the passing lane. That was a good strategy until a small black car was passing. The truck suddenly jumped into the car's lane! With nowhere to go, the car was riding between a guard rail and the truck at 75 mph!
We arrived at the Comfort Inn exhausted. The Comfort Inn was carved into the side of a mountain such that everything was uphill.
I loaded our overnight luggage (only 12 of the 37 pieces of luggage) onto a luggage rack and then pushed the rack uphill from the van to the hotel. When I reached the hotel, I made the mistake of letting go of the luggage rack so I could pull the door open wide enough to push it through. You can probably imagine the results without my elaboration, but please permit me to describe seeing the cart roll back down the hill with me in chase yelling and trying to reach the cart. It slammed into the front of the van and then dumped its contents all over the parking lot while the van's alarm system fired off. I now have a nice two inch dent in the front of my van from this.
We had a late start the following morning, but I managed to stay in front of the Gordon's even though we grabbed an early lunch at a gas station. Mark was feeling much better because Linda had stayed up all night hydrating him.
Around noon, the Gordon's called to see if we wanted to stop for lunch. We were racing to stay in front of a snow storm, we had already eaten, and I feared getting sick before getting home. Nevertheless, we agreed. Instead of eating another meal, we would just get ice cream. While my family got a table at McDonalds, I retrieved a large tray of ice cream. When I returned to the table, the Gordon's were gone!
"Where did they go?" I asked. As I looked out the window, I saw them with food in their hands, climbing in their car to leave. Why did they ask us to stop for lunch if they had no intention of stopping for lunch? There was no time for questions! "Oh no! We need to stay in front of them!" I shouted. We grabbed our ice cream and ran for our van as the Gordon's pulled back onto the highway.
"What do we do with the ice cream?" Linda asked as I revved up the van in pursuit.
"Eat it!" And with the ice cream in one hand, spoon in the other, driving with my knees, and rocketing to 80mph, I woofed down a hot fudge sundae with only two splashes on my jacket.
We were catching up to the Gordon's until we neared Mansfield, Pa where Rt 15 joins Rt. 80 and 180 and 122. The GPS was screaming at me to take the ramp to the right, but I was convinced it was wrong (regardless of its protests) to take the ramp to the left. 15 miles later, Linda read a road sign, then looked at her map and said "Oh gee, we aren't supposed to be way out here. We are headed to Ohio!"
After correcting our course, I apologized to the GPS for not listening and yelling at it. Even though I apologized, the GPS refused to talk to me for ten miles! I guess it was really upset.
Other than an engine light at the start of the trip, the van ran pretty good. We have a bad front passenger tire that caused the van to vibrate every time we went above 65 mph (which was most of time). Somewhere in Pennsylvania, the transmission started doing a long shift. The van has had this problem before, so we kept going. Then, as we approached home, the alternator went. I had to drive the final hour with one foot on the break and one on the gas!
Just like bringing in a torn-up World Word II bomber, I bought that van home! We made it to the house, and slid the van into our ice covered driveway. What an incredible adventure!
'Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.
Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.'
Before leaving Disney, we had an engine light on our van. Jim Gordon checked the error code and said, "it is just an evaporated error. Stay close to us on the way home and let me know at the first sign of trouble."
I tried to stay in front of the Gordon's by several minutes for the entire first day of the journey home. The challenge was our misdiagnosis of the food poisoning. Come to find out... It wasn't that $25 steak at all because two hours out of Disney, Mark (my oldest son) surrendered his breakfast to a barf bag.
During the first day, Mark would throw up a total of ten times. Linda spent most of the trip riding backwards in the front seat, hung over her chair and holding the barf bag. It must have been an interesting site for passing cars! At least all the barf went in the bag because I've been on trips where we weren't that fortunate, and the stench of barf is repulsive. This time, the van would flood with the stench of barf, but we could close the bag and drop off the barf bags at the next gas station.
Unfortunately, I am a sympathetic barfer myself. If someone around me barfs, I have a tendency to follow. So, when the barfing started, I would roll down the window and hang my head out of the van (while traveling 80mph, of course - we had to stay in front of the Gordon's).
We entered the Virginia Mountains at dark. Driving in the dark through the mountains at a high rate of speed is about as close to the video game Mario Cart as you'd ever want to get in real life. When they report the highway dead statistics, I am convinced the majority of those deaths occur in the Virginia Mountains. In fact, due to the steep cliffs, I would bet there are more deaths then known - there are just piles of crumpled cars at the bottom of the ravine. In one situation I saw, a tractor trailer was so heavy that, while traveling down the mountain slopes, he couldn't hit his breaks and stop before hitting the car in front on him. So, to avoid an accident, he kept yanking his rig into the passing lane. That was a good strategy until a small black car was passing. The truck suddenly jumped into the car's lane! With nowhere to go, the car was riding between a guard rail and the truck at 75 mph!
We arrived at the Comfort Inn exhausted. The Comfort Inn was carved into the side of a mountain such that everything was uphill.
I loaded our overnight luggage (only 12 of the 37 pieces of luggage) onto a luggage rack and then pushed the rack uphill from the van to the hotel. When I reached the hotel, I made the mistake of letting go of the luggage rack so I could pull the door open wide enough to push it through. You can probably imagine the results without my elaboration, but please permit me to describe seeing the cart roll back down the hill with me in chase yelling and trying to reach the cart. It slammed into the front of the van and then dumped its contents all over the parking lot while the van's alarm system fired off. I now have a nice two inch dent in the front of my van from this.
We had a late start the following morning, but I managed to stay in front of the Gordon's even though we grabbed an early lunch at a gas station. Mark was feeling much better because Linda had stayed up all night hydrating him.
Around noon, the Gordon's called to see if we wanted to stop for lunch. We were racing to stay in front of a snow storm, we had already eaten, and I feared getting sick before getting home. Nevertheless, we agreed. Instead of eating another meal, we would just get ice cream. While my family got a table at McDonalds, I retrieved a large tray of ice cream. When I returned to the table, the Gordon's were gone!
"Where did they go?" I asked. As I looked out the window, I saw them with food in their hands, climbing in their car to leave. Why did they ask us to stop for lunch if they had no intention of stopping for lunch? There was no time for questions! "Oh no! We need to stay in front of them!" I shouted. We grabbed our ice cream and ran for our van as the Gordon's pulled back onto the highway.
"What do we do with the ice cream?" Linda asked as I revved up the van in pursuit.
"Eat it!" And with the ice cream in one hand, spoon in the other, driving with my knees, and rocketing to 80mph, I woofed down a hot fudge sundae with only two splashes on my jacket.
We were catching up to the Gordon's until we neared Mansfield, Pa where Rt 15 joins Rt. 80 and 180 and 122. The GPS was screaming at me to take the ramp to the right, but I was convinced it was wrong (regardless of its protests) to take the ramp to the left. 15 miles later, Linda read a road sign, then looked at her map and said "Oh gee, we aren't supposed to be way out here. We are headed to Ohio!"
After correcting our course, I apologized to the GPS for not listening and yelling at it. Even though I apologized, the GPS refused to talk to me for ten miles! I guess it was really upset.
Other than an engine light at the start of the trip, the van ran pretty good. We have a bad front passenger tire that caused the van to vibrate every time we went above 65 mph (which was most of time). Somewhere in Pennsylvania, the transmission started doing a long shift. The van has had this problem before, so we kept going. Then, as we approached home, the alternator went. I had to drive the final hour with one foot on the break and one on the gas!
Just like bringing in a torn-up World Word II bomber, I bought that van home! We made it to the house, and slid the van into our ice covered driveway. What an incredible adventure!
'Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.
Holiday Roooooo oh oh oh oh oh oh oad.'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)