2013: Starship Troopers

One of my favorite movies is Star Ship Troopers. The Earth is under attack so they mount an army to go fight alien bugs that have infested planets around the galaxy. At first, they think they are fighting a bunch of dumb bugs. But as the movie progresses, they realize the bugs have a shared intelligence and take orders from a brain that outsmarts the humans and nearly destroys the army in one battle.

I think the people who created Star Ship Troopers must have lived in Florida. Because living in Florida means living with bugs.

You wouldn't know this by visiting Disney World. Disney has a heavy bug control program. If you look outside of the resorts in the evening, you can sometimes see the insect killing fog, and crews are regularly spraying.

After working my first day from Florida, we decided to reward ourselves with a trip to DownTown Disney. It has been years since I have walked from one end of DTD to the other and I was surprised at all the changes. There were many outside musicians, and the area is now filled with fabulous businesses.

At the end of the evening we returned home. And when we entered and flipped on the light? We saw a bug scurry away. Linda started screaming for me but by this time I had already taken off my shoes. "Step on it" I told her, but she refused. I looked for something to crush it with and finally I said "Take off your show and give it to me". She did and I delivered the death blow.



As I examined the carcass, I realized I was looking at a cockroach! "Is it dead?" Linda asked.

"Yes," I reassured her. And then the dead insect rolled over and scurried away. I chased after it, slamming Linda's shoe to the floor in hot pursuit and I was trying to kill it before it got away. I ran into the wall and then slammed into a chair but I kept in pursuit until finally: whack! I got him! And I hit him again. And again. To make sure this terminator roach wouldn't come back to life. Again!

"You have to hear a crunch" Linda said.

"A crunch?" Very well. Again! And again! Until finally CRUNCH. Got 'em!

Score one for the human population! Humans:1, Roaches 0.

We live in Upstate New York. We might have to kill an occasional ant, a small spider, or a mosquito, but we have never had to deal with roaches.

After a victory lap around the living room, we decided to inspect the rest of the house. We went room by room, flipping on lights and ready to pounce on anything that moved. We found three more live ones, and two dead ones. As the insect body count raised, Linda really freaked out because she has no tolerance for bugs in the house. Her first instinct was to grab her CSI kit and start cleaning everything. Instead, she went through the entire house and inspected everything in an obsessive bug hunt. And she suggested we all spend the night sleeping sitting up with the lights on (I talked her out of that).

When we arrived at the house, we noticed a copious number of pest control devices. Our assumption was the house had ants. As a result, we kept all our food sealed in containers and washed everything. We didn't realize the house didn't have an ant problem. It had a roach problem!

On the morning of our second full day, I contacted the management company and complained. They explained that this is Florida, Florida has bugs, and this is the time of the year to expect them. They agreed to put more poison around the house, but assured us this is not a problem (sure... Not a problem for them!)

I was very relieved after talking to the management company. I had been mistaken thought that finding six roaches in one evening represented an infestation and a problem. But they assured me I was mistaken and this was not a problem. In fact, it was so much not a problem? It was a way of life. A Floridian life.

We rented this house because we wanted to experience what it was like to live in Florida. And if living in Florida means keeping roaches as pets, I guess we just need to get used to it and enjoy the company.