2013: Trip To Walmart

Driving to Walmart was a mad house. A six lane road filled with people who had no idea where they were going. Some would cut into a lane or start a turn only to realize it was the wrong turn. The road was completely congested by idiots. It took us 20 minutes to drive only 7 miles!

When we finally made it to Walmart and entered the store, we were exposed to a new experience. I often see on TV the foreign markets in third world nations where people are packed into areas. Merchants have tables set up selling everything from live chickens to jewelry. And people crawl over top each other, shoving their way to the tables barter and buy everything they need.

Walmart reminded of these third world markets. The place was packed. It was difficult to find a place to stand that wasn't in the way of someone else. There was a mix of people who were relaxing and taking their time, and those who wanted to grab their groceries and get out. There were those who wanted to study the packaging and those who wanted to shove the aforementioned out of the way so they could get what they needed. Many would leave their carts across the aisle, or worse yet, have their kids across the aisle blocking others. Forget about getting cheese puffs - there was always someone's cart blocking the way cheese puffs!

Walmart is the great melting pot of cultures and peoples. I detected at least five different dialects (six if you count Southern USA as a separate dialect). After seeing this mishmash of various people from various areas around the world, I understand why there are wars. People are very different. Someone from the North East USA tends to be a no BS, get it done kind of a person. I'm going into the store and grab fifteen things and get out. For others, this is social hour. Or family values time. Or some have never seen a walmart before. Some can't decide if they want mild or medium salsa - hay, if it isn't hot? It is all the same, just put it in your cart and move on! We aren't making life and death decisions - you are buying bananas. That little black spot won't kill you. And if you have to ask your mate if you should get plastic spoons? You don't need them - move on.

I am going down the aisle and the shelves are becoming empty. I'm thinking perhaps the apocalypse has been announced and this is the rush on groceries. Maybe I should get an extra can of beans or something. But the Walmart employees are frantically wheeling out more groceries trying to fill the shelves faster than they are getting emptied. The aisles are packed with overloaded shopping carts. The carts are so heavy that people can't move them. They have the smallest and youngest of their party (usually a five year old) pushing the overloaded cart and ramming it into other carts, other people, knocking stuff off the shelves. Complete disregard for humanity. It was worse than rope drop on Christmas Day.

We had our cart full of groceries and I shout to Linda over the noise of the crowd "We need to get out of here before we die".We tried to find a register that wasn't backed 15 people deep. I found one and think "Oh thank God, just get me out of here!" As I pull my cart in, I notice there are two cashiers at this register and they are putting on rubber gloves, face masks, and are spraying the registers down with some kind of cleaner. Obviously a bio hazard. I'm thinking: dear God it is the apocalypse, we are going to get some disease, and I never grabbed that extra can of beans.


So, I push my overloaded cart back through the crowd to another register. I just wanted to get out of there - I didn't even use coupons. I don't think I'll be returning to the Walmart on Rt. 27. I just hope this isn't what it is like to live in Florida!