Today we crossed a bridge into the Twilight Zone.
Someday we want to move to Florida. We like to visit area towns to understand what it might be like to live there. I have a coworker that lives in a new housing development in Celebration so after work we decided to check out the town.
In upstate New York you can find houses twice as large for half the price (or even cheaper). Nevertheless it is fun to see all the oddly shaped and squished houses.
We finished our tour and headed into town for dinner. Unfortunately, I took a wrong turn. We crossed over a bridge and through a haze of fog that was too thick to see through. When we emerged, we were in a different universe. The scene was straight out if the early fifties. Houses from the turn of the century. People riding old style bicycles, and neighbors doing yardwork stopped to wave hello, people walking dogs, and couples taking evening strolls. The houses were perfectly maintained and not a blade of grass was out of place. It was a scene straight out of The Truman Show.
We continued down the road, mesmerized by what we were seeing. It was a strong contrast to the new housing development just over the bridge. The scenery was amazing, but I was hungry. "How do we get to the diner?" I asked my navigator.
She pulled out her GPS and studied it for a moment. Then asked "Where are you going?"
To which I replied, "You are the navigator, don't you know?"
"I think we are in trouble, you need to slow down because I can't figure out what is going on." This sounded bad. It was then I noticed that street after street I was passing was one way streets. The one way streets headed off in every possible direction making an incredible maze. "I can't find a way out of here." Linda admitted.
"Can't we just turn back for the bridge?" I asked.
"I can't find the bridge on the map. It is like it doesn't exist anymore."
I slowed the car to a crawl so Linda could figure out where we were in relation to where we needed to go. We crept past perfectly manicured house after house. The one way streets were a necessity because the developer wanted to maximize the valuable land so he built narrow roads that dodged around everywhere. Occasionally we would find a wide two-way road that would unexpectedly shrink to a one-way road.
I was tempted to pull over and ask one of the peculiar smiling and waving neighbors for help, but I noticed they seemed a little too happy. And acted a little too consistent. Did we stumble upon pod people? If I pulled over, would mindless children poor out of the houses and start climbing on our cars in attempt to eat our brains? "We need to find a way out of here!" This was crazy, I mean, how can the fire department respond to anything? The house would be burnt to the ground by the time the fire department made it through the maze.
"I think I found it," Linda said. "There is only one way out of here. You need to take a right at this next intersection." I complied and turned right. Linda became very excited. "Wait! What just happened? You needed to take a left, not a right!" She had read the map wrong.
This was bad news because I had just turned deeper into the maze. And the road shrunk in on us forming a one way path with no way back! I was concerned the evening was slipping away and soon it would be dark. Fifteen minutes later, navigating the one way streets and nonstop stop signs, we made it back to the bridge and found our escape! We almost become permanent residents of celebration, doomed to a hell of driving through never ending one way streets.
We did make it downtown for dinner. And concluded Celebration just wasn't our kind of town.
Someday we want to move to Florida. We like to visit area towns to understand what it might be like to live there. I have a coworker that lives in a new housing development in Celebration so after work we decided to check out the town.
In upstate New York you can find houses twice as large for half the price (or even cheaper). Nevertheless it is fun to see all the oddly shaped and squished houses.
We finished our tour and headed into town for dinner. Unfortunately, I took a wrong turn. We crossed over a bridge and through a haze of fog that was too thick to see through. When we emerged, we were in a different universe. The scene was straight out if the early fifties. Houses from the turn of the century. People riding old style bicycles, and neighbors doing yardwork stopped to wave hello, people walking dogs, and couples taking evening strolls. The houses were perfectly maintained and not a blade of grass was out of place. It was a scene straight out of The Truman Show.
We continued down the road, mesmerized by what we were seeing. It was a strong contrast to the new housing development just over the bridge. The scenery was amazing, but I was hungry. "How do we get to the diner?" I asked my navigator.
She pulled out her GPS and studied it for a moment. Then asked "Where are you going?"
To which I replied, "You are the navigator, don't you know?"
"I think we are in trouble, you need to slow down because I can't figure out what is going on." This sounded bad. It was then I noticed that street after street I was passing was one way streets. The one way streets headed off in every possible direction making an incredible maze. "I can't find a way out of here." Linda admitted.
"Can't we just turn back for the bridge?" I asked.
"I can't find the bridge on the map. It is like it doesn't exist anymore."
I slowed the car to a crawl so Linda could figure out where we were in relation to where we needed to go. We crept past perfectly manicured house after house. The one way streets were a necessity because the developer wanted to maximize the valuable land so he built narrow roads that dodged around everywhere. Occasionally we would find a wide two-way road that would unexpectedly shrink to a one-way road.
I was tempted to pull over and ask one of the peculiar smiling and waving neighbors for help, but I noticed they seemed a little too happy. And acted a little too consistent. Did we stumble upon pod people? If I pulled over, would mindless children poor out of the houses and start climbing on our cars in attempt to eat our brains? "We need to find a way out of here!" This was crazy, I mean, how can the fire department respond to anything? The house would be burnt to the ground by the time the fire department made it through the maze.
"I think I found it," Linda said. "There is only one way out of here. You need to take a right at this next intersection." I complied and turned right. Linda became very excited. "Wait! What just happened? You needed to take a left, not a right!" She had read the map wrong.
This was bad news because I had just turned deeper into the maze. And the road shrunk in on us forming a one way path with no way back! I was concerned the evening was slipping away and soon it would be dark. Fifteen minutes later, navigating the one way streets and nonstop stop signs, we made it back to the bridge and found our escape! We almost become permanent residents of celebration, doomed to a hell of driving through never ending one way streets.
We did make it downtown for dinner. And concluded Celebration just wasn't our kind of town.
No comments:
Post a Comment