Love On The Road

Love is a wonderful thing. Starring into each other's eyes. Flirting. Telling each other wild stories. The intense attraction. Trying to impress the other. While I am all for love and everything, I just don't think it should happen at 70mph. Between two people. In different cars. 

To understand what living at Disney is like means understanding Floridian drivers. We were returning from Melbourne Florida when we were passed by two cars that were playing tag. One was a small red car with two girls. The other was a pickup hauling two skidoo on a trailer with no trailer lights. 

At incredibly fast speeds, they would get their cars along side each other and have terrific romantic conversations. They had to keep slamming on the beaks to stay aligned, but amazingly (unlike Romeo and Juliet) they were successful at not killing each other. 

At one point, the red car pulled ahead, the passenger rolled down her window, and she climbed out, sitting on the window edge topless. Which was completely unattractive because at 70mph her hair was blowing everywhere. How she didn't fall out of the car is a complete mystery, but if she had fallen out, the romance would have ended as the pickup would have drove over her. And you imagine the accident scene investigators: "Where do you suppose her shirt is?" "Maybe it fell off when she hit the pavement." And can you imagine the discussion with her parents? "Apparently, ma'am, she was a hanging out the car window without the benefit of clothing." Her parents would spend the rest of their lives wondering "would she have survived the fall if she had been wearing a shirt?" 

As the car and pickup played tag on the road, they would use the median of the left turn lanes, doing daredevil moves, but always returning to each other's side so they could talk or share more nude views of themselves without needing to hang out the window. 

This dance of love continued for several miles until a tractor trailer came up. They were so into each other that they didn't see the semi approaching very quickly. And the semi didn't know the pickup truck's trailer lights were disconnected, thus, no brake lights. 

The pickup was tailgating the car in the passing lane. The girls decided to take one of the left turn lanes that cut through the median with the hope the boys would follow. However, at that speed it is difficult to make a sudden change in course. And with the girls occupying the turn lane, there was no place for the guys to go without colliding into the girls. Their rapid deceleration wasn't appreciated by the tractor trailer. He locked his breaks and laid on the horn. A collision was inevitable. This romance was about to end in a foolish ball of flame. 

The guys had to make a quick decision: collide with the girls an har some tragic love ending of their lives, or get creamed by the Semi that was sliding into them. Their decision was miraculous. They pulled left into the median just past the girls, just barely missing their car. The pickup came to a bumpy rest in the grassy median. By doing so, that allowed the tractor trailer to slide by, inches away from demolishing their pickup truck. 

Ah, young love. At 70mph. It is almost Shakespearean in a way. Some twisted disturbing horrifying way. I am all for love, but lets keep it off the highway, OK?