Souvenir Pennies

There are many fun additions to a Disney vacation that can provide some great souvenirs: pin trading, wizard trading cards from the Magic Kingdom firehall, and more.  An old time favorite is Souvenir Penny collecting. 

In almost all the resorts and throughout the parks, you can find the penny making machines. 

Each machine has several difference designs that can be picked.

The system is easy: put two quarters and a shinny penny into the slot, select the design you want, crank the handle, and the machine will squish the penny and apply the new design.

Several gift shops have penny collector books to store and display the pennies.

Participation requires a little planning. Collect as many quarters and shinny pennies as you can before heading to the Magic Kingdom. Them, be on the look out for the machines. 

This can be a fun and relatively cheap collecting souvenir adventure for your children.

Poly Lobby

After a long wait, we finally were able to see the new lobby at the Polynesian. In the past there was always a large water fall. I loved that water fall and was upset when I heard they were going to remove it. The construction walls went up for what seemed like a year. And now, during this trip, we saw the results. And the results are amazing.

The large water fall has been replaced with a much smaller one:

The lobby is lit with glass globes overhead.

The best part is the large amount of seating that has been opened up. The seating is filled with people waiting for their rooms, waiting for a reservation, or just relaxing.

I had heard the waterfall was being removed to make room for a new world famous cafe. There is no cafe in site. Just plenty of comfortable seating.

While I do miss the old water fall, this new change isn't too bad. It is part of a resort renovation that included removing the arcade and removing a creek that ran from outside the lobby to the pool area. I am not sure whether I really like these changes, or I really like the fact that the construction is done. In the end, the changes look nice, are an attractive addition, and I enjoyed having the additional seating available. 

2015 Left Overs

In 2014, I reported on our Grocery Left Overs. How did we do this year? Unfortunately... not as well. We will be able to take most of the food home with us, but, it would have been nice if we didn't purchase it in the first place. Things we'll have to throw away?

Package of hot dogs
Package of sliced ham
Blueberries
two chicken patties
a frozen pizza
a bag and a half of frozen smile french fries
four waffles
1 gallon of water
2 two liter soda

Things we bought that we'll have to take home with us (if we can fit it in the car)
2 bags of potato chips
Tortea chips
Peanuts
Three boxes of cereal
Velvetta cups
two cans of Manwhich
one can of chili
two cans of soup
Bush's Baked Beans
two jars of Spaghetti sauce
One box of spaghetti
Raisens
Croutons
Cinamon
Sesame Seeds

Maybe next time we can be able to refine and improve our grocery list to avoid this problem

Poly Luau

We headed over to the Poly for a last chance to see the Magic Kingdom fireworks for 2015. We wanted to get into Ohana for dinner, but, there were no openings at all. On a whim, we checked at the Luau and were surprised that there was an opening! The Luau is pricey compared to what we had planned to spend, but, we decided to go for it.

It has been years since we have done the Luau. We love it, but it is pricey.

The food is incredible, starting with a salad, rolls, and then the main course arrives.

While eating, we watched a show on stage with dancers telling a Hawaiian story and doing dances of the islands. We had a great time, and afterwards, walked down to the beach to watch the fireworks.

Walking Ten Miles Per Day at Disney

I have written previously about the importance of going to Disney World with a good pair of walking shoes. Flip flops, saddles, shoes and the like might seem cool but will result in sore feet.  If comfortable feet means buying a new pair of sneakers? Make sure you break them in far in advance and are assured the shoes are comfortable.

I have heard Disney guests talk about the health benefits from a day at Disney, but I never really knew how much walking was involved. For this trip, I enabled my iPhone's pedometer and found that walking 8-10 miles per day at Disney is realistic.

A lot of walking requires good shoes. My wife bought a new pair of sneakers, broke them in, but didn't do much walking with them. After a few days at the park, the side of her foot hurt so bad that she developed a limp. 

I thought I was all set with my sneakers. However, New a balance sneaker quality gets worse and worse every year. After a few days at Disney I suffered a blow out: the sole on my heal separated from the rest of the shoe!

A little Crazy Glue to the rescue saved the trip. It is amazing how convenient a little Crazy Glue can be when on a vacation.

When walking ten miles per day around Disney World, it is essential to have a good pair of shoes to avoid sore blistering and hurt feet.

Magnolia Glen Review

I have had several opportunities to walk through Magnolia Glen just off Florence Villa Grove in Davenport Florida.

This is an older neighborhood and the houses are showing their age. I found several yards over grown and most of the shrubs lack attention.

There is a bulletin board for HOA activities that haven't been updated for several months.

I wasn't very impressed with this well lived-in community. I got the impression that the community is all residential 

This community is across the street from the Hill Crest community, another community that I wasn't impressed with.

Given the choice, I would not want to rent or live in this community. There are too many beautiful alternatives in the area.

Rainforest

The rain Forest Cafe is a jungle themed restaurant that leaves the impression you are dining in the middle of a rainforest. Throughout the restaurant are animatronic animals (monkeys, elephants, etc) who wake up, take some action, and then turn back to silence. Then once every so often, the entire rainforest wakes up with a storm of activity.

There are two Rainforest Cafe at Disney World: Downtown Disney and Animal Kingdom. The Animal Kingdom cafe has been open since the park opened. Back in those days we could see the water falls towering to the side of the entrance. 

Today, the restaurant is hidden behind an overgrowth of trees to the left of the park's entrance gates. You don't need to have an Animal Kingdom park pass to dine - there are two entrances, one from inside the park and one just after the security check point before the park entrance.

We arrived at park closure with no reservations and with a large party of nine. We were prepared to wait longer than an hour to get a seat. Instead, we got right in with almost no wait!

The restaurant cost is within expectations for a table service restaurant at Disney.

I had the Chicken Parmasean, which was an interesting and odd twist on the classic. The chicken breading had Parmasean in it, and small pieces of cheese melted over it. It was served with linguini, and the sauce wasn't to my liking, but I managed to eat my fill.

The Rain Forest Cafe at Animal Kingdom can be a nice break from the traditional Disney fare. While we were lucky and able to walk-up and get seated, I do recommend calling for reservations.

Vista Park Review

I took a walk through Vista Park just off Florence Villa Grove near Davenport Florida. This is a gated community with a guard house, but I found the gates wide open and had no problem accessing the neighborhood.

This is a fairly small neighborhood compared to most, but what it lacks in size it makes up in other ways. Houses on the north east side rest on a hill (one of the few natural hills in Florida) overlooking an impressive portion of Kissimmee and Disney World beyond. 

Many of the houses have second floor balconies to further enjoy the views. I can just imagine sitting on that belcony and watching the Disney fireworks off in the distance.

The houses are very large, around 3300 sqft with six bedrooms and feature very large pool areas - larger than the cost moon villas found throughout the area.

All of the yards and landscaping was well maintained. The road was good. The driveways were all brick. A drawback, though, is the lack of sidewalks.

The guard house is large enough to also serve as a club house. There was no playground, but I did see a lot that could be used for parking.  It looked like the neighborhood once had a volleyball court and a small basketball court, but those are long gone. This neighborhood looked very nice. 

I couldn't tell if there were very many vacation rental opportunities, but if there were, I would love to stay in one of those houses.

Disney Quest will close in 2016

I am sitting at Disney Quest writing about the announcement that Disney Quest will close in 2016.

Disney quest is a five floor arcade with food, bumper cars, simulators, and more. 

This news hit my family hard. We spend 4 or 5 days at Disney Quest every year and the place is always packed! It can be difficult to find a vacated game to play and the place is full. The place brings back great memories: we first came after it opened and remember sitting at an Internet cafe style table overlooking the lobby below. Since then, Disney Quest has been a favored stop and we always find it packed. How can a disney take a thriving business and shut its doors?

I suspect the answer lies in business math. They are making money, but can they make more money doing an NBA experience? Could there be some synergies with an NBA experience, such as drawing husbands to Disney? Husbands could go the the NBA Experience while their wives shop at Disney Springs. Perhaps they envision a thriving NBA sovenier business as well?

It is possible that Disney Quest doesn't make much money at all. At $45 per person per day, it is very expensive. I couldn't afford to go as much as I do if it weren't park of my annual pass. Perhaps the Disney Quest portion of annual passes doesn't offset its expenses? These answers are a mystery to me!

Disney originally had plans to put a Quest  in 24 major cities. But when the second Quest flopped in Chicago in 2001, disney pulled back all investment. And it is too bad. Disney quest should have been updated over the years with laser tag, ropes course, and a coffee shop for parents. Others, such as Magiquest and Wonder Works, are eating the lunch that could have been Disney's.

They will replace Disney Quest with an MBa experience: interactive, video, restaurant, and store. The NBA boats nearly 20 million fans. I don't know whether or not that is true. And I don't know if the basketball demographic adequately covers the Disney Fan demographic. But I can understand a synergy occurring with Disney's ownership of ESPN and the Wide Wolrd of Sports at Disney World. I just know that an NBA experience will carry no interest for me.

My kids love the nonstop all day video game experience. There are the old classic video games and many current ones. And we play until they kick us out!

What has been the impact to Disney Quest? It is difficult to tell because our last visit was seven months ago, but some things are obvious.

- no longer selling the annual pass. If you don't hane an annual pass? Your only way to get in is to pay $45 per person.

- classic video games are in disrepair. In one room I counted three games that were hung, and one game I played had a bad joystick. All together I found ten games I wanted to play that had problems.

- several games are missing, leaving empty places in the arcade. The games have been removed and not replaced.

- some decorations are missing. Some of the items that use to hang on the walls have been removed and not replaced.

This degradation is being reported just weeks after the announcement! So I can only imagine an increase decline is the establishment as its closure date nears. It is very unfortunate.

While I am upset about the closure, many others aren't. They complain that a 90's style arcade doesn't fit today. The games are too outdated compared to what kids have at home. Parents are board and often found sleeping in the corners. Many children are board too and you'll find them on benches playing games on their phone. If all of this is true (and most of it is) then why is this place packed with people?

So, we are here at Disney Quest today to give it one last good bye. I don't expect it to be here when we return.

Dealing with Florida Heat is all about Attitude

It gets very hot in the summer in Florida. Feels like 100+ degrees, clothes soaked in sweat, sun roasting like an oven, leaving a trail of sweat drops on the sidewalk behind you. I love it! It is perfect to me.

I've had to deal with some pretty bad winters in New York. Standing in feet of snow shoveling until my hands and feet are numb and my face is frozen from the whipping wind. Car stuck in a snow bank, pushing and shoving trying to get it free. Thick layers of ice that have to be chiseled off. A cold drafty house that never warms. Winter nights where there can never be enough blankets. Winter months that stretch on for what feels like half the year. It was during one of those times when I was freezing that I took a pledged never to complain about the heat ever again. Would I rather freeze or sweat? The answer for me is I would rather sweat.

I do take precautions: sunscreen, plenty to drink, rest often, use air-conditioners, and blow a fan on myself. Regardless, the heat does not stop me from going on a 5 mile walk or a 3 mile run during the hottest part of the afternoon

I believe the difference in excepting the heat is that it is my decision. I have chosen head and it is what I want. Others are unwillingly subjected to the heat and despise it. I love it.

When people ask me about the difference between New York and Florida, I remind them "You don't have to shovel humidity". Hours of back breaking freezing shoveling of snow can be replaced by a lazy afternoon floating in a swimming pool. Why not?

Yes Florida is hot during the summer. And that's fine with me.

Taquitos Jalisco

We decided to take a trip out to Winter Garden in Florida to eat at Taquitos Jalisco on South Dillard Street.

The last time we visited was in 2013. At that time, they had children every Thursday playing in a mariachi band. They would go table to table and play songs for tips. I was really looking forward to seeing this again, but, our waiter explained that the kids have grown and are busy now and no longer have time for it. That is too bad because it was something that made us want to return.

The outside of the restaurant is in a shopping plaza. That isn't very appealing, but, I have to tell you - some of the best restaurants I've been to have been in shopping plazas. The location is interesting: in both 2013 and this trip we saw what appeared to be homeless in the parking lot. But I always felt safe.

The inside has a bar in the back and tables throughout the dinning room. Mexican music plays overhead and the place is nicely decorated. The waiter and waitress were incredible. They were always there. Even when there was nothing to do, they were standing near by waiting for an opportunity to serve. They were awesome. In fact, I suspect our waiter detected my disappointment about the mariachi and I could hear him pass our table singing whatever song was playing. Maybe he always does that? But it was cool.

Finally, the restroom test. You can usually tell everything you need to know about a restaurant by visiting its restroom. I took a deep breath of anticipation before entering because I had low expectations. Those low expectations were dashed - the restroom was well decorated, clean, and taken care of. Kudos for passing this test - I was very impressed!

We started with chips and salsa. The salsa appears to be something house made. It is liquidy, not chunky, which makes it difficult to get a good favorable dip. The salsa is just something to make the chips taste a little different.

Regardless of the entertainment, the restaurant has excellent food. I started with the Tortilla Soup. It came out boiling hot, was not too spicy, and was loaded with shredded chicken. It came with an avocado (missing from the picture). I'm not an avocado fan, but I tried it. It was mushy and not strong flavored - if not for my aversion, I could have brought myself to eat it.

The next dish was the burritos. It comes with rice and beans. The rice is the standard recipe that I find at most Mexican restaurants, and I love it. I could eat (and have done in the past) an entire dish of that rice for dinner. I'm not a big fan of refried beans, but these beans were perfect. The burrito was awesome.

Next is the Enchilada combination: Beef, Chicken, and Cheese. It is served with the same rice and beans. The enchiladas have a thick layer of cheese melted over the top and the some sour cream. The beef was very tasty. The cheese enchilada with cheese melted over the top was too much cheese (something I never thought I'd see me write!). The chicken was OK, but the beef was the true winner. The Enchilada shell was OK, but left me thinking the dish would have been better in a flour tortilla. I have had outstanding enchilada shells, and this one was just OK. 

There was no room for desert and we left satisfied. The bill arrived and it was under $30! 

I give this place a high rating and look forward to returning someday. I just hope they bring back the kids doing the mariachi band. The kids really made this place stand out from the rest.

Out of Control Magic Comedy Show

We like to come to the Disney area for extended stays during the summer so that we can experience what it might be like to be a resident: to have to work, pay bills, grocery shop, deal with the heat, etc. It is one thing to vacation at Disney, it is something else to live here.

For the 2015 trip, we decided to take our experiment to the next level.

It stands to reason that if we lived near Disney we might get tired of it and not want to do Disney every day. To simulate that, we let our annual pass expire part of the way through the trip. What would happen?

As feared, we spent many evening looking at each other and asking "what do you want to do?" Luckily there is plenty of things to do in the area, so, we could always find an answer.

One things we decided to try was the Out Of Control Magic and Comedy Show, located inside Wonder Works. The dinner show includes all you can eat and drink!

Almost every show sells out, so, you want to get tickets in advance. Also, you will need to park at the mall's parking stage (right next to Wonder Works). They don't validate parking, and it cost me $7.

Buying the tickets online was a challenge because they require the tickets to be printed. Who on vacation has a printer? Luckily, they have a computer available where you can print your tickets at the box office.

The next thing that was odd about buying the tickets - the web site defaulted to using http instead of https. Http is not secure and means anyone on the Internet can steal your credit card number!  Luckily, we knew the difference and switched over to https.

If you want to go to the show, arrive at least 30 minutes early so you can pick your seat and assure your group can all sit together.

The auditorium easily holds 100 people. Long tables run perpendicular to the stage. Half of your party will sit on one side of the table and the rest will be across from you. Each side of the table sits probably 12 people, so, chances are you'll have other families to your right and left.

The  doors opened on time and we entered to find salad and popcorn waiting for us. Both salad and popcorn was unlimited and incredible. Next was the drink orders (soda, beer, or wine). Then the pizza came rolling out: half pepperoni, half cheese. As one pizza is finished, it gets replaced with another! And another! Our waitress suffered an injury so we didn't get very much pizza, but a waiter for a different table tried to help as much as he could. The pizza was thin crust and OK (I am not a picky pizza eater so I can't judge it), but I have read reviews who thought the pizza was horrible. Certainly that wasn't my experience.

Later, a small slice of pound cake with a raspberry sauce was delivered for desert.

The real gem was the show. The magic was incredible and funny - I laughed very hard. I don't want to say too much about the show and give any of it away. I will just say - young or old, magic fan or not, comedy fan or not, you will love this show. Great audience participation. Huge fun. Tony Brent is incredible. 

The entire experience lasted around 90 minutes. But Tony was so great, the time flew by. I could have watched him perform for a two hour show!

Would I do this show again? Yes! It was that good.

Coronado Springs Customer Service and Food Court

I often hear that it is impossible to experience everything Disney has to offer. We have been going to Disney every year for seven years, and many trips before that. In the past three years we have spent sixteen weeks at Disney. So, you'd expect we have seen it all. And just when I think we have seen it all, we stumble into a new wonderful experience to add to our favorite list. That's what happened today.

We have never been to Coronado Springs Resort. For whatever reason, the Mexican style theme just wasn't very appealing. We love the Mexican land at Epcot, but never considered the resort as much of a destination.

This year, we decided to stop by. And wow, were we impressed! Our very first interaction with the security guard blew my mind. He was friendly and engaging and interested in us, and wanted to make sure we had a great time. 

The second person we encountered appeared to be a manager for the bus boys (possibly?). He went out of his way to greet us and was very friendly. The bus boys were standing, ready to assist, and were friendly and talking with us as we entered. Once inside, it didn't stop. Every person we passed was friendly and spoke to us. I saw a lady cleaning a table stop what she was doing and call out to some people passing by and waved to them like they were her family members. When we paid for our food, the cashier was like an old friend, talking and helping us out - I felt very welcomed and a sense of excitement and energy about the place - there is something great happening at this resort.

This kind of service at every level was incredible. It blew my mind to see this. Who ever is running Coronado Springs has it figured out and is doing it right. And all the employees we encountered are engaged in this behavior and give the impression they love working this way. 

We were in the mood for some Mexican Food, so, we hit the food court.

The first item was the children's nachos. They place a scoop of melted cheese on a plate, pile chips into the cheese, and then pour melted cheese over the top. There was plenty of cheese, but the dish was very salty.

Next up was the pasta. It was a little odd to get pasta when we were going for Mexican, but, it looked good. And it was. Pasta in a white sauce with broccoli, served with a bread stick. 

Next up is the beef tacos on a soft shell, served with beans and rice. There are many toppings for the taco, but I went simple: cheese and sour cream. The rice was nothing special. The Tacos were incredible.

Finally, the Chicken Enchiladas, served with beans and rice. The enchiladas can be stuffed with many available toppings and covered with a red sauce. Again, I kept it simple. These were as good as the tacos.

You might notice the pictures show real plates and silverware! While most food courts go with paper plates and plastic utensils, this food court is keeping it real.

The food court includes a bar where I ordered Margaritas. The margaritas are poured from a mixing machine. At first, they tasted like all mix and no tequila. That quickly changed and my drink delivered a pretty good punch.

We finished the night walking around the Mexican themed resort and visiting with the alligator that swims in the lake next to the lake side bar. We left the resort completely stuffed with Mexican food and very happy. This resort is going on our "must visit" list for our next trip.

Yehaa Bob at Port Orleans

We love us some Yehaa Bob!

Bob Jackson plays in the lounge at Port Orleans Riverside Resort. We go see Bob every year because he puts on an incredible show. Bob is an incredible piano player and entertainer. He plays Disney classics, favorites we learned growing up, and classics from the 70's that everyone knows. The crowd participation is amazing as he gets people on their feet and dancing. He even gets the "Manly Men", who would otherwise not be seen at such a show, to stand up front and do the YMCA and loving every minute of it. And he gets kids of every age, from young to college, up and dancing. Have that frowning teenager who wants to do nothing? Take him or her to this show and watch them light up and have fun. 

A favorite part this year: when Bob played a song from Frozen, a five year old girl stood up and did all the moves from the movie - it was very cute.

Bob's commitment to Disney and the kids is beyond comparison. Every year, he flies to our home town to put on a charity event for Give Kids The World. Give Kids The World is the arm of the Make A Wish foundation that answers the dreams of children with chronic illness who want to go to Disney. It is, in part, Bob's commitment to fund raising that helps make all this possible.

I encourage everyone to see Bob at the Port Orleans. He is a true Disney treasure and I wish everyone knew about his shows. Check his schedule to see what nights he plays. And arrive early to get a chair. If you don't get a chair, there is plenty of standing-room (or dancing room). And Bob does several back-to-back shows every night.

Florida Sun Pass

The first time I road on a Florida toll road, I was shocked by how expensive tolls were! I toll would come up and I was handing $1 or $1.50 or $2. I think I spent $20 in one round trip to the coast!

In New York State, we are over burdened with tax. When we have to pay a toll, the toll is a tax ontop of other taxes I have already paid. Therefore I avoid toll roads in New York whenever possible.

I made a similar pledge in Florida: avoid the toll roads. What I learned is that it is impossible to get anywhere in a practical and timely matter without paying a toll.

Paying tolls on Florida highways in a pain. You have to pull into a toll plaza, wait in line, and either exchange money with a toll booth operator, or throw exact change into the booth. Both options make a long jounery that much longer.

Florida, like many states, has an automatic toll paying system. Florida calls  it the Sunpass. And with Sunpass, you can fly through the toll booths, usually at highway speeds!

We decided to give Sunpass a try. The morning before heading to the east coast, we went to a CVS Pharmacy and purchased a Sunpass for $5. We registered the Sunpass to our car and it's license plate, then deposited $20 into our Sunpass account to pay for future tolls. We affixed the sticker to the windshield near the rear view mirror. Everything looked perfect... Except for the fact that we missed the part of the instructions that said it would take 24 hours before the pass worked at all toll booths.

With our Sunpass attached to our windshield, we headed to the coast.

I blew through several tolls that apparently didn't read my pass. I didn't understand the warning lights and everything. There was another toll where I got into the wrong lane and was blocked by a median to get into the correct lane, so, I blew through a lane that had a red light indicating the lane was closed.

When we were done with the trip, we used our cell phone app to look at our account and found nothing had been charged. I was really concerned I would get $100 fines for every toll booth I blew through.

Luckily, that didn't happen. Cameras took pictures of my car and captured by license plate. They used the license plate to find my registered Sunpass and simply charged my sunpass the correct amount. After that success, I continued to use the Sunpass for several other trips and became less concerned about the cost of the tolls, and more interested in the convenience.

Interestingly, cash the tolls are, like, $1, $1.50, etc. But if you pay with a sunpass, you get a discount that makes the tolls a little more affordable.

The speed of the sunpass is impressive. Often, I was traveling at speeds not allowed by the law of man and it took a perfect picture and charged my account. There were several toll booths where I had to pass through at 25 mph. At one of those booths, it read my sunpass, processed the charge, saw that my account was low, and lite a "Low account balance" sign at the toll booth, all within a fraction of a second

I am very impressed with the Florida Sunpass system, and I will be a customer from now on.

Ohana breakfast

"Character Dining" at Disneyworld is where there are Disney characters (people in costumes) from the movies and the characters visit the tables. This is a great way for kids to meet the characters and have pictures taken without needing to stand in long lines at the park. Unfortunately, character dining is very expensive, so, we decided to limit our character dining experience to only one restaurant. 

The challenge? Which one? There are so many great experiences to choose from - Chef Mickey at the Contemporary, Crystal Palace, Animal Kingdom, and more!

We decided we would keep our favorite: Ohana. This is set at the Polynesian Resort, a Hawaii themed resort. The breakfast is served family style with all your can eat. Large plates of food are brought to the table and replenished as they are finished. The meal includes bread, fruit, biscuits, waffles, eggs, sausage, and potatoes. 

It is very typical to have a long wait for a seat. We often don't get seated until 30-45 minutes after our reservation, and today was no different. There was a large tour group in the restaurant that had to be cleared out before more guests could be seated. I am very glad I wasn't a customer during the tour group's visit because a room full of young teenage girls can get very loud and out of control. 

Something we miss at Ohana are the pictures. Before getting seated, the family gets a picture and then photographers bring the pictures to your seat for review. In the past, the packages included key chains and magnets plus larger pictures. We would always buy the pictures and we have them all displayed in our living room - showing our children through the years as they have grown.

For the past two years (including this year), photographers follow Stitch (why not Mickey?) and take a picture that gets added to your photo pass. You can then buy the pictures later. However, the pictures don't come in a nice display anymore, they are printed sideways now, and they lack the various sizes that used to come in the package. The trade off benefit is that you can order the pictures anytime, have them delivered to your house, and they have different options such as coffee mugs and Christmas ornaments.

When we entered the restaurant, I told my family that I intended to eat eggs until they came out my ears. That nearly did happen as I ate more food than reasonable. It was a great meal, remains our favorite, and we had a great time.

Snaking through the Disney crowd

When we go through Disney World, we go with a purpose. There are places to go and we don't waste any time getting there. We have a system worked out perfect. Mom is the spear - she leads us to were we are going. Next, in single file, are the boys. I bring up the rear to make sure no one gets left behind and nothing gets lost along the way.

No one had better get in the way of our family train! I have seen my wife cut people off, and cause stroller collision accidents. She often cuts through crowds without remembering that the rest of the train is behind her. She often takes us up the less congested left side of sidewalks. One time, a lady called to her "It is just like driving - stay to the right" and my wife turned, ready to rip the lady's head off, but she was gone.

Watch how we got from the front of Magic Kingdom to the Jungle Cruise by cutting through the stores (Mom is in the blue shirt)
https://youtu.be/0Ef3gAqczPs

The Slowest Day at Magic Kingdom

Ever have one of those days where everything just seems to be running in slow motion? That is what happened to us!

We arrived at Magic Kingdom early in the afternoon. The traffic just seemed unusually heavy, and there was a line backed up to get a parking spot. We slowly crept forward and parked it.

Parking at Disney is a crap shoot. Sometimes you get to park on the end that has the transportation tram. Usually, you get parked all the way out at the end of the row. In our case? We weren't just at the end, we had the very last spot. When I got out of the van I asked the parking attendant "Is there a tram to take us to the tram?"

We arrived to the tram just as it pulled away. Disney is usually smart about this - they don't pull away until the next Tram is ready to pull in. By doing this, people don't feel like they were left behind. For whatever reason, that mentality wasn't in existence. The tram pulled away and we were left behind waiting and waiting for the next tram.

When the tram arrives, everyone hurries to get onboard. Why? We have to sit there for ten minutes for everyone else to board, listen to the conductor's lame jokes, hear the safety message, and then wait until the left over idiots still in the parking lot are "Standing behind the yellow line". Finally the conductor says "Can everyone on the tram look at the guy in the blue shirt and tell him to step back behind the yellow line?"

The tram takes off and we get a brief break from the hundred degree weather as a hundred degree breeze blows through the tram. The lady in front of me has super long hair, flapping in the breeze and carelessly hitting me in the face. Come on! She can't tell that her hair is hitting me in the face?

We arrive at the Ticketing Center and have to decide how to get across the lake to the Magic Kingdom: the boat that holds 600 people? Or the monorail that only holds 200? Of course! We pick the monorail! And wouldn't you know it? We arrive at the monorail station just as the monorail pulls out. Obviously? This is not our day.

After ten minutes, the next monorail pulls into station and nobody gets off! Another ten minutes go by and no one is getting off the monorail. Finally, the doors open and the passenger exists. I turn to my wife and ask "Are we sure we want to take the monorail? The boat holds..." and before I can finish my sentence, she is boarded.

The monorail takes off from the station and half way down the rail, it comes to a stop. Uh-oh. Last year, a monorail broke down and left people stranded twenty feet in the air until the fire department rescued them from the hot oven-like monorail cars. Luckily, that would not be our fate, and the monorail continued to the next station.

At the next station, the doors of the monorail failed to open. After some period of time, the conductor announced "We are having some problems. We are going to try a reset. We apologize for the inconvenience." And just like that, they rebooted the monorail! The lights went out, the air conditioning stopped, and the car became very hot.

The crowd outside the monorail waiting to board was growing. One mother trapped in the monorail convinced her kids to knock on the window and say "Help us! We are trapped". That scared away many of the awaiting passengers, who left to explore the boat option for crossing the lake.

After many hot minutes, the lights came back on and the monorail doors opened.

Our first ride was the Jungle Cruise, and we had a fast pass! Linda expertly snaked us through the crowd to get in line quickly. There was a huge fast pass line at Jungle Cruise! Usually, a fast pass means you can get right onto the ride. Something got messed up and the line stretched all across the sidewalk area. We had a twenty minute fast pass wait!

We decided to reward our selves with some ice cream. The four of us all squeezed onto a single bench with me on the end. Little did I realize that my end of the bench was next to a huge mud puddle. I realized it instantly when an eight year old went stomping through the puddle, filling my shoe with water and drenching me.

This was NOT a great trip to the Magic Kingdom. The crowds were too heavy, the lines were too long, the day was too hot, and I was too wet.