Getting In Shape For Disney

In preparation for the Summer 2014 Disney trip, I dropped a ton of weight. I had put on some weight after a promotion at work and wanted it removed before the summer. A Disney trip can be physically challenging so being in good shape helps. While everyone is different and you have to find what will motivate you, I’ll nevertheless share with you my experience and perhaps you’ll find something helpful. I’m not a doctor, I am sharing my amateur experience, and you should consult an expert if you have questions.




Bottom line, weight loss is the result of creating a calorie deficit. You have to burn more calories than you take in. You can take pills and powders and buy fancy exercise equipment or join expensive gyms – none of that matters. What you have to do is create the calorie deficit. You can waste a lot of money trying to find a trick and not get results.

Exercise: If you aren’t use to exercise, start by doing just what you are willing to do. Are you willing to walk to the front door and back? To the mail box and back? To the corner and back? To the store and back? Just get started and you’ll feel good and want to do more. To get energy you have to burn energy, so, the more you do – the more you will be able to do.
I was used to exercise so I usually did 60 minutes split between two different elliptical, and 10-20 minutes on a bike. Two to three times per week I additionally spent 30-60 minutes walking or jogging or adding resistance (weight) training. Bodies get used to exercise and exercise becomes less effective, so, it is important to confuse your body by changing things and doing many different things and continually turning up the resistance to keep it challenging. Basically, if you enjoy doing it, it probably isn’t effective anymore and the things you hate doing are the things you need the most.
Cardo (bikes, treadmills, running, Zumba) have better calorie burn per minute than resistant training (weights), but you only burn calories while doing the activity. Resistant training keeps the calorie burning throughout the day as your body repairs the muscles and you strain to use sore muscles. When doing Cardo long term, your body will burn fat and muscle, thus reducing muscle tone and reducing calories burnt during the day, so, the trick is to do a combination of cardo and resistance.

Diet: The most difficult. 400 calories for breakfast, 100 for a snack, 500 for lunch, and then dinner got anything that was left over. I’m a big guy, so, my goal was to hit 1500 calories after eating and exercise. If you aren't 6'4", your calorie goal is going to be lower. Just don't starve yourself - starving will shut down your metabolism.

The quality of calories matter. Fat and sugar have more calories per ounce and can be worse for your body than other choices. As a result, you want to pick healthier fats. And think of white flour (which is used everywhere) as if it were sugar too and pick something that is harder for your body to break down (like wheat).

5 or 6 small meals work better than 3 large ones. To keep your metabolism burning all day, keep it fed with smaller meals.

I calorie count, but fruits and vegetables are free. I don’t count those. So, when I need to fill up or am having a bad diet day, I turn to those. And I try to eat as much salad as I can stand. Eat lean meats: chicken, low fat hamburger, ground turkey, turkey bacon, turkey hot dogs, etc.

I have a couple of really good recipes. I find salsa that hasn't had sugar added and dump it into a slow cooker with chicken. It is healthy, easy, and tasty. Another is chili using ground turkey – you really can’t tell it is ground turkey, and the beans help add healthy protein.

I like chocolate and it has been my weakness. I compensate with coco puffs, chocolate flavored yogurt, and when I need the real thing I turn to dark chocolate.

I give myself one cheat day per week so that if I fall off the wagon, it is OK and permitted and I can get right back on the next day. I don’t use the cheat day every week, but, it has been helpful.

Finally, many people recommend regular weigh-ins to monitor your progress. My weight fluctuates from hour-to-hour and day-to-day. Some weeks would have great progress and others terrible. I was getting very disappointed. So, I switched to doing 5 week weigh-ins and it has been much better.

I hope these suggestions help!

Cheapest Groceries Near Disney World

We did a lot of grocery shopping during our Disney trip and were concerned that groceries in Florida (particularly around Disney) were more expensive than what we are used to in Upstate New York. So, I did a study. I tried to align similiar products and sizes whenever possible.

I compared the grocery prices between:
- Walmart on Rt 27 (which has similiar prices compared to Walmarts in upstate New York)
- Publix on Rt 192
- Market Place on Rt 192
- Target on Rt 192
- Wegmans in Upstate New York

The results? Generally speaking, Walmart had the cheapest groceries. In a close second was Wegmans in Upstate New York. The worse place to shop was the Market Place.

Milk is generally more expensive in Florida than Update New York:
Wegmans: $2.49
Publix: $4.09
Walmart: $4.38

Loaf of Cinamon Bread shows a strong contrast in prices:
Walmart $2.98
Wegmans $3.49
Publix $3.99
Marketplace $3.99

Another example is a box of Hunts Chocolate Pudding cups:
Walmart: $2.78
Wegmans $2.79
Publix: $2.99
Marketplace $3.69

There was a $.30 price difference between what we were used to paying for Hamburger Buns and what we paid at The Marketplace:
Wegmans: $1.29
Target: $1.39
Publix: $1.39
Walmart $1.48
MarketPlace $1.59

But generally speaking, Walmart had the cheapest prices on most items. And therefore by using Walmart, groceries in the Disney area are not more expensive than what we are used to in Upstate New York. You can see the entire list here:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets...it?usp=sharing

Extreme Transportation Around Disney

During our summer stay, I was surprised at all the various modes of transportation I saw.

It is very common for people to rent extended vans that have four or five rows of seating. I watched one of these pull up in front of a 5 bedroom villa with the back end of the van so low it was nearly dragging on the ground. Twenty-five people exited the van and went into the villa. Twenty-five!

In a parking lot behind a Burger King, a uhaul pulled up. The back of the uhaul slid open and three families came out. Small children, teenagers, adults. I suppose a uhaul is cheaper than Enterprise car rental. Someone suggested to me that the three families might additionally be living in the uhaul, but I find that difficult to believe.

In another vacation villa neighborhood, I saw a large tour bus pull up and everyone emptied out and went into a single villa. How many people can sleep in a five bedroom villa?

When you really want to go to Disney, I guess you do what you have to do. But these were some very extreme examples that I saw!

Gopher Turtles

Most Florida villas have a disappointing view from the pool deck. Either you are starring at your neighbors swimming in their pool, or, you have a wall or white vinyl fence.

But not us!

When we stayed in July, Our view was of a large open field of pine trees! We learned why while talking to a real estate agent. Apparently that land is owned by a elderly doctor who has refused to sell it to the developers. He has held onto the land all this time. And now they have discovered gopher turtles on the land. These turtles are called gophers because they dig into the ground. And gopher turtles are on the endangered species list. So now that highly valued and treasured land isn't as valued anymore. I benefit by having a nice view from the pool deck, and seeing the occasional turtle munching on weeds.

The Cost Of Disney

This summer we spent 32 days living at Disney and we are planning to return in late December. This is a good opportunity to review our goals. Specifically, financial goals. Last year we were at Disney for 22 days and this year 32 days. We didn't hit the lottery, these trips are really expensive, so we attempted things to make the 2014 trip cheaper.

First, the cost of the villa. In 2013 we paid $119 per day. This year we paid $93 per day which saved $26 per day!

Next, a huge expense is food. Our goal was to eat at home and off property as much as possible. We didn't do as well as I had hoped. In fact, many opportunities to eat at home were lost because we were challenged getting out the door in a timely fashion. However, we did cut nearly all of the Disney table service restaurants this year. We did have an improvement. Considering groceries (including soaps, cleaners, paper, and everything) and out-to-eat, in 2013 we averaged $129 per day. This year we averaged $85 per day which saved $44 per day.

$85 still blows me away and I know there are huge improvement opportunities there without taking away from our vacation.

One thing to consider is that we would buy groceries and go out to eat if at home. It isn't $85 per day while at home, nevertheless, it makes $85 per day a little more palpable.

Our journey to Florida and home was $300 cheaper because we used cheaper hotels, cut the trip by a day, and cut several of our normal stops out of the trip.

Souvenirs, gas, and our year passes worked out about the same.

I feel pretty good that we were able to significantly extend the length of the trip without increasing the cost, and if we ever try this again, there are opportunities to cut back even further.

Nearly Arrested?

We were nearly arrested today. Or at least detained. Perhaps questioned. But certainly fined. Almost. By the pure fault of our own and drawing unnecessary attention to our questionable activities brought us, an average middle class, country loving, God fearing, American family, caste into the criminal element and brought under the spotlight of the authorities.

Where do I begin to explain how we could have become such vagrants?

I am now running nearly 4.5 miles per day. My pace is horrible due to running intervals and the inability to breath in the hot humid summer air, but I don't care. I return home drenched and dripping and gasping for air yet unable to breath as I drown in the humidity and I love it.

I wanted to capture a video of the path I use so that in the cold upstate winter, I could use the video while on the treadmill or elliptical to keep me motivated. While on the treadmill I can either look out the window at falling snow, or look at blue skies as palm trees pass by. I'd rather have the later - even if the palm trees only exist on a TV screen.

The plan was simple: hang a camera out the passenger van window while driving the van through the neighborhood at 5-10 mph. A last change of plans had Linda driving the van (even though he didn't have her license with her and was wearing flip flops) while I hung my arm out the window.

And off we went... Creeping down each neighborhood road. No one would think it odd that someone with New York plates were scoping out a neighborhood with mostly vacant vacation villas.

Someone did think it was odd... A member of the Sherif's department! He rocked through the neighborhood to find us, then pulled up behind our slow moving van. I didn't notice him because I was concentrating on the video camera, and Linda didn't notice him because it is difficult to make a van drive so slow.

When Linda did notice, she said "Oh my God! There is a cop car behind us!" I quickly pulled my arm inside the van, shut off the camera, and threw it under my seat. Linda, in a sense of panic, flipped on her left turn signal an veered left, then flipped on her right turn signal and veered right, pulling the van to the curb. What was she going to do? No license! And driving with flip flops! And now erratic driving!

The sherif slowly pulled along side of us, checking what we were doing. What would we say? What would he do? I wasn't really doing anything wrong by making a video of the neighborhood, but Linda, on the other hand, was a complete criminal! After slowly passing by, the sherif then drove up the road and out of sight.

Were we safe? Was he simply running out plates and then he would return? Did someone call us in? Was the cop really checking us out? I don't know. But what I did know? I wanted my jogging video! Undeterred by our close brush with the law, we drove around the block and then picked up filming where we left off.

The outlaw video is completed (minus the brush with the Police). You can see the video with this link:
http://youtu.be/8yaynfRn204

Guest Assistance Card Review

When I heard about the changes to the Guest Assistance card (Disability Access Service Card), I was concerned that we might not have a good Disney vacation this year. Now that we used it for a month, I will give you my review.

First, let me explain that I appreciate that everyone is different and my experience might not be yours.

My son has autism, Tourette's, and ADHD. A few short lines aren't a problem. But if we stood in a long line it would be a bad experience for us and everyone around us. In addition, his frustration levels build throughout the day. He might be doing fine at the start of the day but the more lines he waits in, the worse he gets.

In the past, the guest assistance card would work like a never ending fast pass allowing us to immediately get on any ride we wanted. That was a great gift Disney provided so we tried not to abuse it, but I always felt guilty when we used it.


Now, you get a card, similar to a miniature golf score card, with your picture on it. When you find a ride you need, you walk up to the fast pass line, hand the attendant your card, and she writes down a return time onto your card. The return time is equal to the time you would have spent in line anyways. You can come back to the ride anytime after the time written on the card, but, you can only have one ride on your card at a time. For emphasis: you can return anytime after the time written on the card. So, come back right on time or four hours later - it doesn't matter.

Compared to before, this sounds terrible doesn't it? Well... Not really. Because we use the guest assistance card with our Fast Pass Plus system. We get a time on the card, then do a Fast Pass Plus ride. After the ride, it is time to use the guest assistance card. You can alternate the two passes all day long to get on any ride with no real waiting.

Yes, it is a hassle. You have to walk all the way to the ride to get a time, leave, and then return. But considering the fact Disney doesn't have to provide this at all? And we all want to be fair with everyone? It isn't so bad.

In the 32 days at Disney we used the card seven times. Mostly Toy Story Mania. But also Seven Dwarfs, Jungle Cruise, Spaceship Earth, and Safari. And every time it was an easy and good experience. But I want to emphasize that if you take advantage of the new Fast Pass Plus system, your reliance on the guest assistance card diminishes substantially to the point that we only really needed it for rides whose fast passes were booked.

There have been many people on the boards and elsewhere who are angry about the guest assistance card change. While I can't speak to everyone else's situation, I can tell you that for us, this change was not a big deal. It was fine. Our view of Disney has not diminished in any way. And now I feel a less guilty because this new program is more fair to everyone while allowing our son to still enjoy his favorite rides.

Water in Florida

In our exploration if living at Disney, our attention turns to water. Florida is surrounded by water, has lakes everywhere, and it rains 100 days per year. Nevertheless, the cost of municipal water is 3-4 times our cost in upstate New York. I guess it is very expensive to keep the gators out of the reservoir.

With water being so expensive, how can people afford to water their lawns? Every house is on a sprinkler system. It turns out that every house has a tank buried underground that captures the rain water. When it is time to water the lawn, they pump the water out if the tank.

Sometimes the underground water source can have a strong surfer smell. As a result, many of the Home Owner Associations (HOA) require home owners to water their lawns at night with the hope the sulfur smell will be done by day.

And now you know about the challenges of water when living at Disney!  

Port Orleans Riverside Carriage Ride

Disney has an incredible resort known as Mosquito Coast. At the food court of Mosquito Coast, you are on the menu. And fitness activities include frantically waving ones arms around. You probably know this resort as Port Orleans Riverside. The flooded swampy mosquito haven. I don't know what bug control they deploy at this resort but it has no effect on the mosquito population.

Port Orleans Riverside provides horse drawn carriage rides for $45. We took the ride in 2011 and the driver took us through the French Quarter. It was so incredible to see the streets and buildings in French Quarter that we couldn't wait to do it again.


In 2013 we returned for a ride but learned we needed a reservation. We made sure we had a reservation for 2014.

Instead of taking us through the French Quarter this year, the driver took us around mosquito coast. We spent half the time getting ate and the other half of the time killing the blood sucking insects.

I would like to say the ride was enjoyable but I don't remember very much of it. And the souvenirs from the trip still itch.

Review of Fast Pass Plus System

There has been a lot written about the fast pass plus system, not all positive, and most of the negative is from people who haven't used it. Now that we have used Fast Pass Plus for 32 days of Disney, I will provide my review.

I love the fast pass plus system. I highly recommend getting the app for your smart phone. Then, on your way to the park you can select your first three rides and get fast pass times.

The very popular rides (seven dwarfs, soarin, toy story) might fill up, so, you want to get those a few days in advance. Otherwise, same day reservation worked fine.

Fast Pass provides very flexible times - usually the ride pass is good for an hour. So, it will say, for example, Pirates of the Caribbean 3pm-4pm. You can show up anytime between 3pm-4pm and get right on the ride. And we were able to get on even fifteen minutes past our expiration times.

The system might give you, for example, Pirates 3pm-4pm, Jungle Cruise 4pm-5pm. The gap between the rides provides enough time to walk to the next ride. But there is enough flexibility where you could shop, eat, or catch another ride with a short line if you wanted to. You can schedule up to three rides for your day. When you finish your three scheduled rides? You can go get another. And at anytime you can change your schedule around. So, if you decide at the last minute you don't want to do Pirates, you can change it for something else that is available.

The system does have some bugs and problems and I would bet Disney is going to fix these.

First problem? You can schedule the initial three rides in your smart phone, but not the additional rides (the ones after the first three). The option to get more rides was announced after the phone app was made and the phone app hasn't been updated to reflect the new policy. To get the additional rides you must go to a kiosk.

The kiosks are distributed around each park and they often have long lines. It is funny: you must stand in line to avoid standing in line. But I think this problem will go away once the phone app is updated.

Next, there aren't as many kiosk locations as Disney would want you to believe. Chances are? You will need to hike to a kiosk. Again, once the phone app is updated, no one will care.

Next, there is a kiosk attendant for every kiosk and they are not happy with their jobs and they are too eager to just press all the buttons for you and shuv you along. After being assisted once, we knew what we were doing and just told the attendant to back off.

There must be a lot of confusion with the system because I saw many people get denied the fast pass lane. They try to use their bands and for whatever reason they can't get on. I don't know what causes the confusion, but I saw this happen several times every day.

Finally, the kiosks can be buggy in that several times the fast pass wasn't applied to everyone in our group. That is really annoying because the ride attendants are not forgiving nor understanding when that happens. The ride might be on my magic band but the rest of the family didn't get it and therefore can't ride.

Problems aside (which will mostly be fixed with a phone app update) the fast pass program was wonderful.

Gettysburg 2014

August 3 You would think I would learn. After ten years of doing it over and over again, you would think I would wise up. But every time leads to the same disappointment.

It is like when I turned 30 and no one wished me Happy Birthday and I had a miserable day. After that I decided that if I wanted a great birthday it was up to me to make it great. And every since then I have taken the day off from work and filled it with things I love to do: movies, coffee shop, hardware store, etc.

And so I have come to the conclusion that other things are just like my birthday: if I want to make it great then it is up to me. And I should wait around for something that'll likely never happen.

We stop at Gettysburg every return trip. I have always been a civil war fan, and the idea of hiking through a real battlefield is something I always look forward to. The rest of the family? Tolerates it to a point. And over the years that point has continually diminished.


A few years ago I started a new tradition. Rather than waiting around the hotel room for hours until the family was ready to leave for an afternoon of pure boredom, I would rise early and go do my activities. And when they were ready? They called my cell phone and I would go pick them up.


I have decided I need to expand this tradition to the point where I simply don't go pick them up. We'll still go to dinner at Tommy's Pizza - we all love that. And maybe catch a ghost tour in the evening together. But that is all the family enjoys, and I am torturing them and myself by forcing them through endless tours and hikes and stories they really didn't care for the first ten times they heard them.


The Gettysburg experience is therefore going to change. It will no longer be me boring my family by sharing one of my passions. Instead, I will be set free and liberated to explore uninhibited and on my own. 

Driving Home

We have taken a long drive north. Usually we take US95. But this year we decided to take US77 to US81.

We came across four accidents, three were on our side of the highway. The first accident left us crawling up the highway for over an hour and often we were simply stopped. This was horrible and we learned out lesson about how bad accidents messes up traffic. When we saw the second accident we pulled off the highway and bypassed the accident with a back road. When we came along the third accident, we pulled off to eat in a small town which gave the emergency crews time to react. The fourth accident was going the other direction, seemed to have traffic backed up for ten miles. We heard from a waitress in a restaurant that accidents on the highway happen everyday.

It amazes me how a car accident can halt one of the nation's major arteries. Not only are vacationers using this road, but also tractor trailers hauling merchandise and army hauling military equipment. It would seem we could do something better.

There are two problems: first, there aren't very many exists, so, the exits are many miles apart. Accidents are usually a long ways away from any exit from which emergency crews could respond. Second, since the road cuts through the blue ridge mountains, the medians are usually impassable. Therefore the emergency crews can't drive up on the opposite side nor cut through. They must fight through the backed up traffic in order to get to the accident scene. If you are in an accident on US77 or US81, you could be sitting there (possibly injured) for a very long time. We can do better! I have been watching a TV show about air paramedics in the Afghan war. If there was a problem, these guys fly to it. If we can do that in Afghanistan, why can't we do that here?

The first responders could drop nearby via ropes to take control of the situation and stop traffic long enough to get the helicopter to land on the road so that patients can be loaded.

I would make the following two priorities: 1. Protect life. 2. Get the traffic moving again.

Once the helicopter is gone, the first responders begin clearing debre by pushing as much as possible into the median in advance of the tow truck arrival.

Think about the cost associated with stopping a major transportation artery in the United States! The cost of loss commerce could easily pay for this service. And think of all the lost energy and increased polution caused by having a backup stretch for miles of idling vehicles.

The helicopter could cost around $6M, and would bill $8500 to insurance companies for medical transport. If used only once daily it could pay for itself in just a couple of years.

Accident survivors would get better medical care. Accidents would get cleared faster. And traffic accidents would have a smaller impact. Everyone wins! And... We could get to Disney sooner

Downtown Disney: Ghiradelli Ice Cream

Living at Disney means eating at Downtown Disney all the time, right? On the advice of Lou Mangello, We decided to try the Ghiradelli Ice Cream Shop.


I ordered the Hot Fudge Sundae with cookies and cream ice cream.


Linda ordered the Waffle Cone with two scoops of chocolate ice cream.


We usually eat soft serve ice cream or cheap store brand ice cream. We rarely get high quality ice cream that is so full of flavor like we received today. Usually I can slurp down any ice cream, but this was so rich and flavorful that I had to take my time.


The total with tax was $17, which is a high according to the price I pay for normal bland ice cream. I think Lou made a good recommendation.

Left overs

Our last dinner in Florida was a Buffett necessitated by the need to clean out the refrigerator.

A huge concern is with buying too much food that then gets thrown away when leaving. But this year we did pretty good! Our buffet includes: Pancakes, hotdogs, a bag of French fries, french bread pizza, salad, a pot of chicken flavored rice, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, ice cream sandwiches, and toast.


Aside from some bologna, that takes care of the groceries we bought that can't be take home with us.

Even though this is our last night in Florida, I still have many more untold stories. And also, we have our December trip to plan. So... Stay tuned!

Downtown Disney: Paradiso 37

The dream of living at Disney includes eating at Downtown Disney all the time. So we decided to give it a try at Paradiso 37.


The restaurant is huge with two level seating and outdoor seating that overlooks the lake. We were sat next to the open kitchen, which I always find to be bad form. They were assembling orders two foot from my face and I was continually smelling food I was not eating. I don't find the trials and tribulations of the wait staff nor their banter entertaining. On top of that we spent most of our meal fighting a fly for our food.


The restaurant has an entertainer who walks around outside speaking Spanish and occasionally singing a song. I couldn't see him, so, I can't really speak to how entertaining he was. What I was listening to was annoying.


We ordered margaritas. Sometimes margaritas have an excellent flavor depending upon the quality of taquilla that is used. We weren't offered a top shelf taquilla and the drinks were... Average.


First were the Nachos. We ordered without pico, peppers, or lettuce ad it arrived rather bare with queso drizzled over baked chips. We dug in deep and found the Chili near the bottom.


I ordered the steak burrito which came with BBQ beans and rice. The beans were soupy but had a good smoked BBQ taste. We were expecting refried beans and the BBQ flavor didn't really match the rest of the plate but I enjoyed it. Linda didn't like it and didnt eat them.


The rice was stiff, a little undercooked, and not full of flavor. Linda was unimpressed with the rice and didn't eat it.

The burrito came with a red sauce that tasted like squash. Which is good if you like cooked squash. Linda said that if she had ordered the burrito she wouldn't have been able to eat it. The burrito has sautéed vegetables and was on the salty side but otherwise good.

Linda had the Enchilada with red sauce. It was good. The corn tortea didn't have much corn flavor, and was difficult to cut without using a knife, but was overall good.


We found the portions sized to have been appropriate for lunch, not dinner. Even with the nachos, we left hungry and decided to find desert elsewhere. Our meal (with tip) was over $80. I didn't see the value. Scale from 1 to 10? I'll give it a 6. Linda gave it a 5.

Colorado House Of Beef

To get a feel for what it might be like to live at Disney, we like to eat at local restaurants. One such place we decided to try was the Colorado House of Beef.

This place sits just outside Disney property on Rt 192. In fact, the parking lot backs to the casting offices.


Their sign advertises a fajita bar, steaks, ribs, etc However, when we arrived and sat down and tried to order a hamburger.. A simple hamburger that a house of beef should have - they couldn't make one. So, we left. Their loss.

Love On The Road

Love is a wonderful thing. Starring into each other's eyes. Flirting. Telling each other wild stories. The intense attraction. Trying to impress the other. While I am all for love and everything, I just don't think it should happen at 70mph. Between two people. In different cars. 

To understand what living at Disney is like means understanding Floridian drivers. We were returning from Melbourne Florida when we were passed by two cars that were playing tag. One was a small red car with two girls. The other was a pickup hauling two skidoo on a trailer with no trailer lights. 

At incredibly fast speeds, they would get their cars along side each other and have terrific romantic conversations. They had to keep slamming on the beaks to stay aligned, but amazingly (unlike Romeo and Juliet) they were successful at not killing each other. 

At one point, the red car pulled ahead, the passenger rolled down her window, and she climbed out, sitting on the window edge topless. Which was completely unattractive because at 70mph her hair was blowing everywhere. How she didn't fall out of the car is a complete mystery, but if she had fallen out, the romance would have ended as the pickup would have drove over her. And you imagine the accident scene investigators: "Where do you suppose her shirt is?" "Maybe it fell off when she hit the pavement." And can you imagine the discussion with her parents? "Apparently, ma'am, she was a hanging out the car window without the benefit of clothing." Her parents would spend the rest of their lives wondering "would she have survived the fall if she had been wearing a shirt?" 

As the car and pickup played tag on the road, they would use the median of the left turn lanes, doing daredevil moves, but always returning to each other's side so they could talk or share more nude views of themselves without needing to hang out the window. 

This dance of love continued for several miles until a tractor trailer came up. They were so into each other that they didn't see the semi approaching very quickly. And the semi didn't know the pickup truck's trailer lights were disconnected, thus, no brake lights. 

The pickup was tailgating the car in the passing lane. The girls decided to take one of the left turn lanes that cut through the median with the hope the boys would follow. However, at that speed it is difficult to make a sudden change in course. And with the girls occupying the turn lane, there was no place for the guys to go without colliding into the girls. Their rapid deceleration wasn't appreciated by the tractor trailer. He locked his breaks and laid on the horn. A collision was inevitable. This romance was about to end in a foolish ball of flame. 

The guys had to make a quick decision: collide with the girls an har some tragic love ending of their lives, or get creamed by the Semi that was sliding into them. Their decision was miraculous. They pulled left into the median just past the girls, just barely missing their car. The pickup came to a bumpy rest in the grassy median. By doing so, that allowed the tractor trailer to slide by, inches away from demolishing their pickup truck. 

Ah, young love. At 70mph. It is almost Shakespearean in a way. Some twisted disturbing horrifying way. I am all for love, but lets keep it off the highway, OK?

Too Much Of A Good Thing

Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? People have often asked: if you lived at Disney, wouldn't you eventually get bored with it? Gasp! I can't imagine such blasphemy! But if it were possible to get bored with Disney, wouldn't that be an incredible life achievement? To go so many times that you have seen it all and done it all and have no interest in returning. I suppose if that were to happen, I would turn my attention to Universal, Seaworld, Legoland, Jesus Land, Gator land, or any of the hundred other options available throughout Florida! And wouldn't that be an incredible life achievement? To be bored with all the things that Florida has to offer? Sigh... If I could only live so long...

I suppose it could be possible to get bored with some aspects, if not the entire thing. For example, we have spent probably fifteen hours at Disney Quest this month. Disney Quest is a large five story arcade that sits in DownTown Disney. For the admission price you can play all the video games you want at no additional cost! And while there are a couple of things that, after 15 hours, still interest me at Disney Quest, I am kinda... over it. If we didn't set foot back into Disney Quest until our next trip at Christmas, I would be OK with that.

Buckets of hand sanitizer

Ground Zero will be Disney World. I am not talking about Ground Zero of a terrorist attack. I am talking about the Zombie Apocalypse. Or some major pandemic epidemic's ground zero will be the giant petri dish we lovingly call Disney World. 

People come from all around the world to Disney World and they cough and they sneeze and they puke and they do vial things in the restrooms.

I saw one well dressed middle aged woman pick her nose, look at it, then wipe it on the back of a chair. One gentleman passed by us as we were eating at a table and sneezed on our table. We have seen so many people puke at Disney that we have learned to avoid wet spots on the sidewalk - especially if the wet spot includes corn. One year we saw a lady, while giving a child a piggy back ride, bend down mid-stride, puke on the sidewalk, and keep going without missing a step. 

We have often found puke floating in the resort pools. One year, we were crammed in a line waiting for Fantasia and a teenager bent over and puked on everyone's shoes. We sanitize the bottoms of our shoes everyday when we get home. Most people aren't as careful as we and they just trample through the puke. It is on the bottom of their shoe and you can see the puke track: step, step, step. Spreading it through the park.

I had one guest walk up and ask me a question and he smelled like a combination of crap and beer. I had to fight my gag reflex, hold back my watering eyes, and politely try to answer his question.

I saw a cast member sneeze into his hands and then say "I shouldn't have done that, I don't have and hand sanitizer" to which the coworker said "You are supposed to sneeze into your elbow." Immediately the cast member sneezed again, attempting to use his elbow, but completely missed. And why is sneezing in you elbow better? How many of us sanitize our elbows, or, go wash our elbows at the restroom sink? 

Think about all the things we touch at the parks: railings, door handles, elevator buttons, video games, and more! And we spend days in the park, shoulder to shoulder and crammed together with sick people from around the world! 

We use buckets of hand sanitizer. We Lysol everything we take to the park. We change our clothes as soon as we return. Germaphobic? Perhaps. But when everyone else gets the zombie plague, we plan to be among the survivors.

Embarrassment

Have you ever been in the lobby of a very expensive resort hotel and seen someone picking their nose? If yes, you might have seen me today. 

The Port Orleans Riverside is one of our favorite resorts. Even though we are staying off property, we have returned to Orleans three times this month for the food, entertainment, boat rides, and horse drawn carriages. 

Port Orleans is not an inexpensive resort. Nevertheless it is rated as a medium level resort on the Disney property. The resort's lobby is refined and decorated to give the impression that you could be checking into an expensive New Orleans hotel. 

This wouldn't be Disney if there weren't a line. And at Port Orleans there are two lines: checking-in and Concierge. 

I was in line for the concierge to ask a question. I noticed a tiny insect flying around my face, so, I swatted at it. And in doing so, the insect flew up into my nose! 

Now what was I supposed to do? This bug was buzzing around in my nostril! I want to drive a finger into my nose and get him out, but I was standing in the middle if the lobby surrounded by dozens of families and their kids. Clearly, picking my nose was not acceptable. There is no way to discretely pick one's nose. And if I left the line I would have lost the position I had been holding for fifteen minutes. 

The insect was causing my eyes to water so I rubbed my nose hoping to put the creature out of its misery.

My nose, now we irritated, started to run. I had no tissue. Not even a Disney Food Court napkin. What would be worse in this fine lobby? To pick my nose? Or wipe my runny nose on the back of my hand? And if I picked my nose, what would become of the result? I had to make a decision soon before my nose decided to drip! 

To save my credibility, protect my reputation, and avoid possible embarrassment, I can not tell how this story ended. I will just say that I was placed into this unfortunate circumstance due to a situation beyond my control. I am not pleased nor proud of what I was forced by circumstance to do next.