Alien Abduction

We were abducted by aliens today. I know that doesn't sound rational. It doesn't sound plausible. I am not sure I believe it myself. My only guess is that little grey aliens are entertained by my family circus and decided it worthy of further investigation. I only hope the aliens share their findings with me because half the time I don't understand what is going on either. For example, while waiting for the tram at Hollywood studios last night, a gentleman said to me "Excuse me sir, does this tram go to The Film parking lot?" To which I replied "No sir, this is the villains tram." (Anyone who isn't a die hard Disney fan is now saying "Hugh?" While the rest if the readers are laughing at my blunder.)

Most of the time, I don't even know what day of the week it is. I call this phenomenon the Disney Zone (instead of the twilight zone) because Disney magic has a way of making one forget about the real world: is today Wednesday? Did I make my car payment? Do I care? Where are the turkey legs stands?

It is with this surrounding that I conclude a celestial encounter with the Martian. I am not sure how he snatched me from my vacation villa but I conclude it must have happened due to the missing time. Four hours of missing time to be exact that none of us can account for.

Let me recount the day so you can see the evidence. I slept in, posted to The Disboards, and ate breakfast. At 10:30 the temperature was 97 and felt like 102 so I decided it was perfect weather for a 3.5 mile run. It was so hot and muggy that at one point toward the end I had to stop running or else I would have vomited in someone's front yard. Which would have been OK. But I didn't have any doggy clean up bags.

When it comes to getting ready for the parks, I have instilled military-like discipline into my family. I don't know which military - some comical, backwood military that rides horses backward and shoots themselves I the foot. Because when I returned home I found the biggest group of lazy individuals lounging about playing video games, with nothing done at all. I understand this entire vacation thing and wanting a lazy Sunday, but we had places to go and things to do!

I threw together lunch and made sure the bags were packed while Linda left to get ready. And that is where we encounter the missing time. Four hours pass by. I got the boys ready and covered in sun tan lotion, Linda went through several of her swim suits to figure out which she wanted to wear and then left to finish getting ready, and then...

When I regained rememberable consciousness, it was near 4pm, we were loading into the van and heading to Blizzard beach. I refuse to believe it took Linda four hours to get ready for Blizzard Beach. Yet I can't explain the missing time if it wasn't alien abduction. As bizarre as it sounds? An alien ship must have flown right over the villa and sucked us into its ship with a laser. Only regressive hyperthermic hypnosis will tell the truth. Regardless if what actually happened, it was 4 PM by the time we left the house for Blizzard Beach,

We rarely have success with a disney water parks in the summer. We always arrive late and it always rains in the afternoon causing the park to close. This year, we arrived and stepped out of the van and then saw a huge lightening bolt drop from the sky and hit somewhere nearby. The ground shook from the rumble. Our luck is improving! Usually the lightening strike happens after we entered the park and rent a locker.

We contemplated our next move. Go do something else? Or wait it out? We decided to wait it out and at 4:30 we finally entered our destination for the day.

Most people, not plagued by aliens, were leaving and giving us freakish stares. "Who are these special people arriving after the park closed?" We knew the secret: the park reopens 30 minutes after the last lightening strike.

With the park mostly empty we did three laps on the lazy river. Then we headed to the tidal pool. Two steps into the tidal pool and another lightening strike lit up the sky and thunder rumbled. "Everyone out" the life guard called, but we were already ashore.

Our trip to Disney today involved an hour in the lazy river. Not out most productive day. And yet I can't account for the four hours of lost time.