2013: Linda Fired Me!

We survived the Days Inn even though it wasn't very clean, was over priced, strict breakfast food controls, and had strange black specks all over the sheets. We put the hotel behind us and headed down the highway at warp speed. The van's transmission seemed to be keeping up with the abuse we were giving it. It slipped just a little in the first gears but then did OK. Also, there were no signs of damage from hitting that black object that was in the road on the previous night. Now that Linda was rested? Her acute navigation skills had returned.

When we arrive in Florida we will be renting a house just three miles from Disney World... Or so we think. We found the house on the Internet and wired thousands and thousands of dollars to someone in Ireland as payment for the rental. We know nothing about the owner nor the house, but we have an address. And we know it is all for real because (A) people from Ireland are all trustworthy, and (B) they wouldn't put it on the Internet if it weren't true.

As the USS Gilbert hit Warp 7, I asked Linda "How do we get into the house when we arrive tomorrow"? And Linda said "I don't know, I didn't think to ask." By this time it was night time in Ireland, so, hopefully we'll get an answer before we arrive tomorrow!

We spent a few moments to visit South Of The Border. In its hay day, this place was something of legend and lore. Now, it is a shadow of its former self. The amusement park is dark, many buildings are empty, the food is "eat at your own risk", and the bathrooms can be smelled from the exit ramp. But the gift shop is nice and we always like to shop there for souvenirs. After buying several gifts we were back on the road.

When Linda went to college she received a business degree in Travel and Tourism. Normally she deploys those skills when planning our trips. But she was too busy to plan this trip so I made all the hotel reservations.

We have a friend who stays at these great Wyndham resorts and has many hotel points for various chains. I decided to cash in on hotel rewards since we are staying at so many hotels. And I liked the Wyndham resort. And I couldn't think of any other hotel rewards programs, so I signed up for Wyndham. I was a little concerned because the hotels associated with Wyndham are hotels we haven't had great success with: Super 8 Motel, Howard Johnson, knights Inn, etc. I didn't care because the rooms were cheap and I was earning points!!

My first attempt at being a travel agent was a complete failure: that Days Inn in Carlisle North was dirty, over priced, and odd.

My second attempt involved a Howard Johnson in Santee South Carolina. I scored the room for only $47! I was very proud of this incredible deal I had found. Even though Linda was skeptical, I was optimistic.

We arrived at the hotel and there was no sign of my reservation. Apparently, I had made the reservation for August. Oops. Luckily, they had room availability!

We immediately checked out the room to make sure it was OK. When we opened the door, I was impressed the Howard Johnson came with turn down service. And they left the lights on for us! And provided us with a half drank bottle of liquor... And about at that moment I noticed there was someone in the bathroom! So, we left. And returned to the lobby where we received a new room to try.

The second room was better than the first room because it was poolside. Forget that the pool looked scummy and un-swim-able, hay! It was pool side baby!

We entered the room and Linda broke out her CSI kit for deep analysis. Would this room pass Linda's inspection? Perhaps the fact it appeared someone had crapped on the center of one of the beds and it leaked through the layers of the bed? Was a dead giveaway. Or that the bed springbox looked like someone had been shot and bled all over it, or died and decomposed in the bed, or had a significant gastronomical abnormality, and that the box spring had started to mold? Was a dead give away that my grand attempts at being a travel agent for this trip was a huge failure. I tried to assure Linda that everything was OK, that there were sheets between us and the bed; and the sheets seemed relatively clean (although I couldn't explain how wrinkled they were). Linda wasn't buying a word of it.

We returned to the Lobby where a very nice gentleman agreed that the mattresses and box springs were well seasoned. It was at that point Linda banned me from making any further hotel reservations. She got our money back. And took us to a Holiday Inn across the road for only $25 more.

In my defense? We could have saved the $25, had a poolside room, gathered Wyndham points, ate free breakfast, AND built up our immune systems by staying at the Howard Johnson. In the words of Phil Robertson, this is what happens when your country wife becomes a yuppie city girl. All of a sudden the HoJo is no longer good enough for her.

At any rate, we are now in a beautiful room at the Holiday Inn. And I have been fired from my attempt as a travel agent.